Jimmy Kimmel returned from his summer break Tuesday and wasted no time taking aim at Donald Trump, mocking the president for accomplishing “nothing all summer long.”
During Tuesday’s monologue on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” the late night host recapped all the “crazy stuff” Trump did while he was on vacation, highlighting that the president’s actions failed to address the issues that plagued the nation at the start of summer.
“When I left for summer break in the middle of June, the country was a mess. We were at war with Iran at that time. Gas prices were high at that time. Inflation was high. Mitch McConnell was either alive or dead. Nobody seemed to have any idea which,” Kimmel said. “The Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool was a big green slop hole. And now, only three months later, I am so pleased to report that thanks to your favorite president, DJ Jazzy Donald, every one of those problems has been solved. We made America great again.”
As Kimmel’s studio audience erupted into a round of boos, the late night host feigned ignorance on their response: “It said on Truth Social, he made America great again. Wait, are you telling me the president of the United States had three full months and spent $20 million and couldn’t even get a pool cleaned?”
Kimmel then took further shots at the reflecting pool, mocking the Trump administration for turning it “into gravy.”
“How are we supposed to win the war with Iran when we can’t even win the war against algae?” he added. “For God’s sake, Trump’s pool numbers and poll numbers are at all-time lows. Only 33%.”
Kimmel piled on by quipping that this was why Trump was trying to “keep us from voting in the midterms.”
“Donald Trump and I have one thing in common. We both accomplished nothing all summer long,” he said. “You know things are bad when a wave of exploding diarrhea washes over us and everyone goes, ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about the diarrhea.’”
Per Kimmel, the only thing Trump “did get done” was “his hair,” joking that the leaves were changing “and so is the president’s head.”
“Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 80 years old?” Kimmel ripped. “It’s like he’s aging in reverse. He’s our own little Benjamin Glutton.”
Kimmel’s Trump roast went on for several minutes more, as he also called out the president for posting “AI generated slop” over the weekend.
“He’s crazier than ever,” Kimmel sounded off. “It almost felt like he was welcoming me back to work. It was like, on Sunday alone, he posted 37 times.”
The “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” editors then highlighted Trump’s AI-generated “Green Lantern” post and another taunting Robert De Niro, who, as Kimmel put it, is not a fan of that “little Focker.”
After weighing in on Trump’s Lake Ontario and New Mexico rebrands, Kimmel torched the administration for the “stupidity they managed to pump out day after day after day.”
“I go away for one summer. He does enough crazy stuff to fill a whole ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ parody song, which I am pleased to announce I will not be singing for you,” he said. “You know, sometimes I feel like he waits until I’m on vacation to do the really dumb stuff.”
For Kimmel’s full recap of Trump’s summer actions, watch his monologue above. A representative for the White House did not immediately respond to TheWrap’s request for comment.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!” airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. ET on ABC.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Torches Trump for Accomplishing ‘Nothing All Summer Long’ in Fiery Late-Night Return appeared first on TheWrap.
