When life feels uncertain, a lot of us start asking bigger questions. What actually matters? What are we doing all this for? According to new research, one unexpected answer might be found in your relationship.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who share a similar view of the world—something psychologists call “shared reality”—tend to experience more meaning in life. Not because they’re just happier together but because they feel less unsure about how to interpret the world around them.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree on every little thing in life. Shared reality is the feeling that your partner sees things the way you do, emotionally and mentally. Maybe they feel the same way you do about a difficult news story or understand your reaction to a stressful day at work. That kind of alignment acts like an internal compass.
Looking For Meaning In Life? Your Partner Might Be the Key.
Researchers led by M. Catalina Enestrom ran five studies with over 1,400 people. In one, Black Americans who felt on the same page as their partners about race and justice reported more clarity and meaning during the year after George Floyd’s murder. In another, healthcare workers treating COVID-19 patients were more likely to find purpose in their jobs if they felt supported and understood by their partners despite those partners not being present at work.
The effect was consistent across all five studies: people who felt emotionally aligned with their partners reported less uncertainty and a stronger sense of purpose. And it wasn’t just tied to general relationship satisfaction. Even couples who disagreed on lots of things still benefited from shared reality around key issues.
Researchers even found that this connection could be spotted from the outside. Couples who mirrored each other’s tone or finished each other’s thoughts were more likely to report a deeper sense of meaning. And in experimental settings, just remembering a moment of shared understanding with a partner made participants feel more grounded.
At a time when the world feels fast-moving and disconnected, having someone who sees things the way you do—at least on the stuff that counts—might help steady your sense of self. Sometimes, it just helps to have the person next to you say, “Yeah, I feel that too.”
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