Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Rooting for a Sinkhole’
In a heated exchange on Tucker Carlson’s show, the host grilled Ted Cruz about Iran’s population and ethnic makeup, suggesting that the Republican senator was ignorant about the country whose government he wanted the United States to help overthrow.
Seth Meyers was amused by the standoff, saying he’d never “felt more like a Roman emperor.”
“I just want someone to feed me grapes while I say, ‘Let them fight.’” — SETH MEYERS
“It’s like watching a sequel to ‘Alien vs. Predator’ called ‘I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, but the Predator is Making Some Very Salient Points.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Oh, damn, Ted Cruz. Are you a pair of $800 Ferragamo boat shoes? Because Tucker Carlson owned you, buddy.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“And Ted Cruz was like, ‘I know the population, just give me a second to count, OK? Let’s see, there’s the ayatollah, that’s one. Uh, the Iron Sheik, two. Is Aladdin one? No? No?” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“It’s so wild to see these two fighting. But I gotta say, in an argument between Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz, I’m rooting for a sinkhole.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Flagpole Edition)
“Not now, dude! This is like your boyfriend getting down on one knee and saying, ‘Kelly, will you make me the happiest man in the world and look at these two beautiful flagpoles?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump’s announcement that new flagpoles would be installed at the White House
“What’s going on here? It feels like someone told him, ‘Sir, you’re not doing well in the polls.’ And he was like, ‘I hear you, I’m on it.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Now personally, I think it’s cool that Trump found a new use for the 50-foot pole that Melania refuses to touch him with.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Wow, ‘tall, tapered, rustproof’ flagpoles. You know he must love them ’cause that’s the same way he describes his son Barron.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“What a president. He spent 48 minutes yammering about flagpoles. He spent more time raising these flags than he did raising Eric and Don Jr. combined today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” timed how long it took fans to start eating from a bowl of nachos left on top of a garbage can at the N.B.A. Finals.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Paul Simon will discuss coming out of retirement on “The Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Fifty years ago, “Jaws” established a template that blockbuster movies have been following ever since.
The post Seth Meyers Wishes Tucker Carlson and Ted Cruz Could Both Lose appeared first on New York Times.
