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After my 20-year marriage ended, I was afraid to travel alone. Now, I’ve been to 21 countries by myself.

June 17, 2025
in News
After my 20-year marriage ended, I was afraid to travel alone. Now, I’ve been to 21 countries by myself.
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Author Lisa VanderVeen smiling next to ledge of building overlooking aerial view of a city, clouds in Valencia, Spain
Solo travel wasn’t as challenging as I’d imagined.

Lisa VanderVeen

For decades, solo travel never really crossed my mind.

Really, it didn’t have to: I had a built-in travel partner in my husband and we’d spent 20 years exploring the world together. Then, he left.

Although I was afraid to travel alone, I decided to continue planning trips once I was single. Fortunately, navigating many challenging parts of solo travel has been easier than I’d imagined.

I’ve found strategies for dealing with language barriers

I’m a monoglot, but learning a few key phrases in my destination’s local language has helped me on every trip.

My staples are “hello,” “please,” and “thank you” as being polite can go a long way. Google Translate, Duolingo, and other free apps make learning a few words in any language a snap.

In a pinch, pantomiming can also work well — and it’s good for a laugh. On a trip to Hungary, I was struggling to let hotel staff know I wanted to leave my heavy bottles of water at the front desk so I didn’t have to carry them on my upcoming castle tour.

By the time I finished pretending to march up a steep hill carrying 3 gallons of water, the clerk and I were doubled over in laughter (and I had managed to communicate my message).

Although I still feel homesick or lonely, I know how to handle it now

Author Lisa VanderVeen smiling in front of a bridge in cloudy weather
I like to journal during my trips.

Lisa VanderVeen

As much as I hate depending on my smartphone, it comes in handy when I travel. No matter how far from home I am, I can easily chat with friends on social media or FaceTime my daughter.

I also stay connected to home throughout my trip by shopping for a special piece of art or a coffee mug in a new destination. I love to imagine which wall it might adorn or how I’ll enjoy that first cappuccino once I’m home.

Sometimes, I mail myself postcards throughout my travels. As I jot my address down and imagine the card winging its way to my mailbox, it’s a promise that I’ll be back.

Daily journaling is also one of my favorite ways to combat loneliness. I use use writing as a brief (or long) meditation to help me stay in touch with myself.

Writing about an emotion helps it press less heavily on my heart. As a bonus, my notebook has become a keepsake of my thoughts on the road.

Dining alone took some getting used to but I’ve learned to love it

Speaking of my journal, it’s also a wonderful dinner companion.

Although I was initially nervous about eating alone at restaurants, I’ve started to really enjoy it.

I like not having to compromise over the meal time or what to order. I can eat as slowly or as quickly as I want whenever I’m hungry and get what sounds good to me.

Whenever I’m feeling awkward waiting for my meal alone, I read a book, write, edit photos, or chat with people at nearby tables.

I’ve also found food tours are also a terrific way to learn about a culture while sharing a meal with strangers. They just might become friends.

Safety is always top of mind since I’m a woman traveling alone

Author Lisa VanderVeen in front of a large building holding a camera
I try to do most of my exploring during the day.

Lisa VanderVeen

Throughout my travels, I’ve created some rules and routines that help me feel as safe as possible while abroad.

For example, I try to avoid landing in a new city at night. When that’s not doable, I book an airport transfer directly through my hotel.

It’s reassuring to see my name on a placard as I exit customs instead of trying my luck with a random cab or trying to take public transit in the dark.

Since I’m an early riser, I focus on exploring from sunrise to sunset and try to always be back at my hotel by nightfall.

To work with this schedule, I often make lunch my main meal and have “hotel-room picnics” for dinner. Usually, this consists of eating food I’d gathered from markets during the day while catching up with friends or watching a comfort movie on Netflix.

If I’m heading out at night for a wine tasting or pub crawl, I always splurge on a taxi rather than take public transportation.

The more I travel alone, the more confident I feel

After exploring so many countries by myself, I’ve become quite comfortable with solo travel.

Each trip has helped me build my confidence, whether I’m navigating public transportation in foreign languages or chatting with strangers.

It turns out solo travel is a muscle — the more you flex it, the less overwhelming it feels. Although I was once a little nervous to see the world on my own, the freedom I experience on the road is now my greatest joy.

The post After my 20-year marriage ended, I was afraid to travel alone. Now, I’ve been to 21 countries by myself. appeared first on Business Insider.

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