It’s just you against the clock. Your nimble fingers gently nestling the flower into a sausage shape. You coat the outside of the paper with a lick of saliva. With your fingertip, you smooth down the cone and twist the top into a slender point. Done!
What Is This All About?
The Rolling Derby is an in-person and virtual tournament to find the fastest joint-roller in the world. It celebrates “The Competitive Art of Joint Rolling.” Stoners and rollers around the world are invited to participate.
Fittingly, RAW Rolling Papers is sponsoring the competitions, which only makes this whole thing seem more legit. The tournament is scheduled to last four months and began on May 28th. There will be a championship final featuring the 16 fastest rollers, where the first-ever rolling champion will be crowned — and probably stoned too, but the good kind of stoned, not the biblical kind.
Celebrating One of the Top Stoner Skills
Stoners have many skills, from using a large lung capacity for zeroing hits to masterfully removing caked-on resin from glass bongs. But rolling a joint might be the most ancient and coveted of all the stoner skills.
Bud.com is hosting the competition, and its CEO, Dean Arbit, preached to the choir, “The Rolling Derby turns what happens every day in millions of homes into a spectator sport that celebrates real craftsmanship.”
He explained, “We’re taking something that’s part of cannabis culture’s DNA and elevating it to showcase the incredible dexterity and expertise that goes into a perfect roll … This isn’t just about speed, it’s really about bringing deserved recognition to a foundational skill.”
Dean seems like a chill dude. And oh boy, is he right. I’m VICE’s resident stoner, and even my joint-rolling skills are… imperfect. My partner, on the other hand, is a grandmaster. And you can bet your ass I’m forcing him to submit an entry.
How to Compete
Ready to show your stuff? We’re still in the first heat of this tournament, and you have until June 30th to submit your entry.
All you need to start is 1g of cannabis flower (still in nug form), king-sized rolling papers, and a camera. You can use a tip/filter/crutch as well if you like (I like).
Breaking down or grinding the flower is part of the competition, so I highly recommend using a grinder to shorten your time. The clock starts the moment you pull out your rolling paper. Then, you have to grind your bud, roll the joint, hold it up, and declare you’re done.
A few rules:
- Videos must be portrait style.
- Your hands must be in frame during the entire video.
- You must show that your grinder is empty or that you used the entire 1g.
- Excess cannabis left over may result in time penalties.
- Upload your video to X or YouTube with the hashtag #rollingderby to enter.
Calling All Speedy Stoners
If you consider yourself a rolling pro, this is your moment to shine. Rollers throughout the competition will receive prizes and glory for speed, style, and humor. If you’re not the fastest, but you’re the funniest, you could still get some sweet merch out of this. And if you’re a speed demon, you could become the reigning champion and win the undisclosed grand prize.
Grab your RAWs, your nugs, and your grinder and start filming. I’ll be following the Roller Derby closer than most people follow March Madness.
Nugs, Nugs…Get Your Nugs Here!
Amazing news for my sad friends in non-legal marijuana states — you can still participate! You just need to get cannabis flower that is federally legal, like the flower products below. Friendly reminder that THCa is not federally regulated, so you can order it to almost every state, and once heated, the THCa turns into psychoactive Delta-9 THC!
Elevate’s Blueberry Muffin THCa Flower is a smooth and tasty option for this competition. And the nugs boast a Fruit Loops-like color scheme that will make your video stand out.
Cheef Botanicals makes this Sex Panther THCa Flower, a stronger sativa that can energize you before the big roll if you need a pick-me-up.
Lastly, Diamond CBD’s potent Hammerhead THCa flower is a marvelous choice, with fluffy buds that you can tear apart in no time.
The post Rolling Joints Is Now a Spectator Sport: Are You the Next Speed Champion? appeared first on VICE.
