I had an expensive wedding. The marriage is going well, but I still have regrets about that day.

Choosing a wedding dress and tasting cakes is all fun and games until you have to look at your bank account.

During the wedding-planning process, the budget that my partner and I set quickly flew out the window. Half of it went to our venue, and the costs added up quickly from there.

Thousands of dollars and a few years later, I’m glad I got married. However, there are a few things I regret about my expensive wedding.

We paid a premium for everything because of the location we chose

Since we got married in Santa Barbara, California — often considered one of the most expensive cities in the US — our vendor costs were absurdly high. 

Since it’s also a relatively small city, there were limited options to choose from in terms of DJs, florists, and other vendors. Less competition typically means higher prices because demand is so high for these services.

Had we done more research and found a different location in a more affordable city, we likely could’ve saved a ton of money. 

Some out-of-state guests couldn’t come because we couldn’t afford to cover any of their expenses

We invited a lot of friends and family from out of state because my husband and I met each other outside our hometowns.

However, since we were putting so much money down on the venue, catering, and other wedding costs, we weren’t able to cover our out-of-state guests’ hotel stays or travel expenses. 

As a result, many of our friends and family weren’t even able to attend our wedding.

We weren’t able to do special things for our bridal party because we didn’t have extra funds

Beyond not covering the airfare or hotels for our out-of-state friends and family, we also couldn’t afford to do anything special for our bridesmaids and groomsmen.

That was something I especially regret because I couldn’t give my best friends what I thought they deserved.

I would’ve loved to have done a spa day or even a short getaway before the wedding.

I wish we’d put some of our wedding money toward our future life together

There are a lot of expenses involved in starting a new life with someone after the wedding.

In our case, my husband and I ended up having to buy a car, an apartment, furniture, and essential household items that we didn’t get from our wedding registry.

Since we used a lot of our personal savings on the wedding, it took us a while to catch up financially after the honeymoon.

In hindsight, it would’ve been nice to have had a little more money in our savings account instead of spending so much on one day.

I don’t think having a smaller wedding would’ve changed the experience

In all honesty, I believe our wedding day would’ve been just as special if we’d shortened the guest list.

Looking back at my wedding photos now, I’m no longer close to a lot of the people who came — and we honestly weren’t even that close to begin with. We felt obligated to invite some friends and coworkers to avoid hurt feelings, but that drove our cost up.

If we’d had a smaller wedding, I’d still have my fondest memories of seeing my closest friends and family all together in one spot, just at a lower cost.

Some of the smaller details we paid extra for didn’t even turn out how we wanted

As much as I communicated with my vendors, there were still things that didn’t go as planned on my wedding day.

During the months of planning, all of these details seemed important, so we didn’t leave anything to chance. We pretty much paid for anything extra that the vendors convinced us we needed.

For instance, we ended up getting a videographer at the last minute because our vendors told us to, but the cameraman didn’t do that great of a job of capturing all of the day’s events.

Additionally, the fancy twinkle lights that one of our vendors convinced us to purchase weren’t even necessary because people started leaving the party before it got dark.

Looking back, I wish I had been more careful to only invest in the things that mattered most to me.

This story was originally published in July 2019, and most recently updated on May 28, 2025.

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