A grieving mom has shared the first picture of herself with her newborn baby, not knowing she’d lose him just weeks later.
Wunmi Babalola (@wumzlola) from the West Midlands in the UK, shared photos on TikTok looking at her baby in his hospital crib.
In the same carousel on TikTok, Babalola also included the last photo the two of them would have together, just six and a half weeks later.
Babalola and her partner Charlie had been together for around nine years before deciding to start trying for a baby. They got pregnant quicker than expected and were delighted to discover they would be expecting a boy in December 2024.
However, Babalola experienced a very difficult pregnancy. “I hated it,” the 32-year-old told Newsweek. Diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), she had to battle extreme nausea on a daily basis – and it took a toll.
“I couldn’t work; it had a massive impact on my mental health, but I told myself, I’m having a baby, it’s okay, just suck it up,” she said.
At 37 weeks, Babalola was feeling unwell with headaches and admitted herself to hospital where she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia – a complication characterized by high blood pressure.
She had an emergency c-section and Kayode Arthur Babalola-Fellows was born weighing 5lbs7oz. “He was a bit small, but he was healthy and beautiful,” the new mom told Newsweek.
Shortly after Kayode was born, he was admitted to the NICU due to jaundice.
After a week and a half long stay in hospital Babalola was finally able to take him home, but even though they got the all-clear, Kayode still needed to be monitored with blood tests.
“Then before I knew it, something was changing in him,” Babalola recalled. “For the life of me, I could not put my finger on what it was.”
At the first visit to the physician, Babalola was told Kayode was suffering from common problems such as colic.
Eventually, the new parents ended up in the emergency room but after seven or eight hours, they were reassured that their baby was fine.
Babalola told Newsweek she felt like she was going crazy. “I just thought, okay, obviously don’t trust your judgment because professionals have told you otherwise.”
But at home the next morning, Kayode had deteriorated. With advice from another physician, she took him back to the ER. What happened next will haunt Babalola for the rest of her life.
“A nurse came to look at him straightaway, scooped him out of his stroller and ran with him to resus,” she recalled. “Before I knew it, there was whole a team around him putting tubes down his throat.”
Doctors thought Kayode had an infection and he was moved to intensive care. He was put under sedation and sent for a brain scan.
Babalola said the bad news was relentless. It was found that Kayode had suffered a hypoxic-ischemic brain injury caused by a sepsis complications, and his parents were told that he wouldn’t survive.
“I remember hearing that and hysterically crying,” Babalola said, explaining that the doctor had to tell her partner because she was unable to speak.
The couple took baby Kayode to Acorns Children’s Hospice for end-of-life care. Doctors told them that he would pass away within a couple of hours, but Kayode defied the odds and survived for another three weeks.
In those weeks, friends and family would come and visit, they’d go for walks in the hospice gardens and make memories with the time they had left with Kayode.
“It was so quick,” Babalola said. “I always describe it a bit like someone had popped a balloon, and then nothing, just silence.”
Babalola said the days and weeks after his death were a blur – and coming back to all of his belongings at home was torture.
She still sleeps with Kayode’s last change of clothes underneath her pillow.
By sharing her grief journey online, Babalola wants to advocate for mothers and families who have been through something similar.
“They don’t need to be shamed into silence,” she said. “It’s weird, with baby loss, it’s so taboo but it shouldn’t be.”
Having a community and a space to talk about Kayode has made a huge difference. Babalola is also running a half marathon on behalf of Acorns Children’s Hospice to raise vital funds for the care they provide.
Babalola is now encouraging others to continue sharing their experiences of baby loss.
“[Those babies] were still very much part of Earth, still loved. I want to talk about him and keep his legacy going.”
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