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Jimmy Kimmel Digests Trump’s Crypto Dinner

May 23, 2025
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Jimmy Kimmel Digests Trump’s Crypto Dinner
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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

On Thursday, President Trump hosted a dinner for the biggest investors in his personal cryptocurrency. Protesters gathered outside the golf club where it was held, denouncing what they called “crypto corruption,” and late-night hosts lodged their own form of protest in their monologues.

“Tonight, President Trump hosted a private dinner for the top 200 holders of his memecoin,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Yep, over 200 crypto bros in one room. Even Satan’s like, ‘Now, that’s hell.’”

Several of the dinner guests told The New York Times that they were hoping to influence Trump and, ultimately, U.S. financial regulation. Jimmy Kimmel was not reassured by Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, who told reporters it was a private dinner and that it was “absurd for anyone to insinuate that this president is profiting off of the presidency.”

“It is absurd to say it’s absurd for anyone to insinuate that the president is profiting off of the presidency,” Kimmel said.

“As far as I know, he’s the only president I’ve ever heard of who sells his own Bible and watch.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Listen, he’s only corrupt in his free time, guys. When he’s in the Oval Office, he’s by the book. This is all completely on the up and up.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“These people gave Trump’s business a combined $394 million for this dinner in one night. Seats went for from $55,000 to $37 million a pop. And no plus ones. That’s just by yourself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Punchiest Punchlines (Goodbye to Grandma Edition)

“They pulled another all-nighter in the House last night, where they passed Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill.’ And man oh man, if this is the beautiful bill, I’d hate to see the ugly one. I’m not sure which part of the bill is the most beautiful. I don’t know if it’s the part where we take food from hungry kids, or the devastating effect it will have on college education, or the trillions of dollars it will add to our national debt, or the almost $700 billion in cuts to Medicaid. Either way, say goodbye to Grandma. ” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“The bill passed with a vote of 215 to 214, or, as Trump called it, a landslide. Two Republicans voted no, including Thomas Massie of Kentucky, who strongly opposed the bill. He said, ‘We are not rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic tonight. We’re putting coal in the boiler and setting a course for the iceberg,’ and then said, ‘If something is beautiful, you don’t do it after midnight.’ Which — that’s true for me, for sure.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Wow, cutting health care and food stamps to pay for tax cuts. The only way this could be more cartoonishly mean to poor people is if it said Bob Cratchit has to work on Christmas Day.” — RONNY CHIENG

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Fallon, the Roots and the cast of the latest “Mission: Impossible” movie sang the series’ iconic theme song a cappella.

Also, Check This Out

After Bruce Springsteen made Trump’s enemies list, he doubled down on his condemnation of the president.

The post Jimmy Kimmel Digests Trump’s Crypto Dinner appeared first on New York Times.

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