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Late Night Is Glad President Trump Has Left the Country

May 14, 2025
in News
Late Night Is Glad President Trump Has Left the Country
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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Lock Him Out!

President Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia on Tuesday for the first stop of a four-day Middle East trip.

Stephen Colbert celebrated, saying, “Yes, Donald Trump left the country today, so I got another birthday wish.” On “The Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper suggested that “someone lock the [expletive] doors.”

“He landed in Riyadh this morning, where he got a lavish welcome, greeted by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman on a sumptuous carpet, purple, made out of hand-harvested journalist nurple.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“You know Trump’s looking at the carpet, going, ‘These things fly here, right?’” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“The crown prince pulled out all the stops to make Trump feel at home, even providing an actual mobile McDonald’s semi truck. This is true. Yes. Of course, one of the most rewarding things about traveling the globe is getting the chance to sample the local nugget truck.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“You got to hand it to the Saudis, though, they know the fastest way to Trump’s heart is through his stomach, out the colon, with a little bit staying behind in his arteries.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“Regardless, you know what? It was a very nice start to this trip abroad, where he’ll visit not just Saudi Arabia, but then Qatar and the U.A.E. But you might be wondering, why did Trump pick these countries for his first foreign trip? Well, there’s a strong geopolitical balance of — I’m [expletive] with you. Corruption!” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“The Trump boys have projects in all three countries. I never thought I’d say this, but can’t these countries go back to doing something more constructive, like funding terrorism?” — JORDAN KLEPPER

The Punchiest Punchlines (From Shady to Sus Edition)

“President Trump tonight attended a Saudi state dinner. OK, well, just so you know, it’s going to be a lot of stuff you’ve never tried, like kabsa and mandi and forks.” — SETH MEYERS

“Well, guys, today, President Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia for the first leg of his trip to the Middle East. Yeah, it was a big day. Saudi Arabia’s crown prince met with America’s Burger King.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yep, Trump is in Saudi Arabia. He’s hoping to make a trillion dollars’ worth of deals, ranging from shady to sketchy to sus.” — JIMMY FALLON

“But Saudi Arabia announced that they’re investing $600 billion in America. Yeah. With the extra money, Trump’s thinking of hiring a second air traffic controller at Newark airport.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Blake Shelton and Jimmy Fallon put their friendship to the test on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Alanis Morissette will be the musical guest on Wednesday’s episode of “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney.”

Also, Check This Out

The Tony Award nominee Audra McDonald’s turn as Rose in “Gypsy” has changed the way some audience members experience the classic musical.

The post Late Night Is Glad President Trump Has Left the Country appeared first on New York Times.

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