A Canadian mother has made the difficult decision to abandon her plans of having a second child after seven years of trying.
Farideh Olsen, 42, and her husband Mark, 44, tried for three years to have their second child naturally. For the couple, it was an emotional roller coaster.
“It was stressful and emotional to keep trying after so many years, with every cycle to hope and be disappointed, then to find the strength to try again,” Olsen told Newsweek.
The couple also considered IVF and adoption but decided neither was suitable for their family.
Olsen shared the moment she “let go” of her dreams of having a second baby on Instagram (@ilovefarideh). In the reel, she stands in a cupboard filled with clothes and toys the couple had saved for the baby that never came.
By the time Olsen decided to let go of all the baby items, her first daughter was 7.
“The idea of going back to having a baby felt like it would be too hard,” Olsen said. “My first pregnancy was difficult, so we were also worried about what another pregnancy, while being eight years older, would do to me health-wise.”
With the help of a close friend, Olsen went through the storage boxes containing onesies and shoes to decide what items can go to another pregnant friend or to charity.
“I went through those boxes with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t have done it alone,” Olsen said. “My friend who inherited these baby belongings was so grateful to have all the items she needed to start her journey as a mom. It was bittersweet to be able to provide that for a friend.”
In the reel, Olsen splits the screen in two—on the right, she is surrounded by the baby items saved up over the years; and, on the left, she looks back on the moment today.
In her caption, she wrote that she was proud of her past self for “doing the hard thing.”
Olsen said that, while going through all the old things was emotional, she felt lighter afterward.
“I didn’t have to open my cupboard storage and be reminded of the loss of the dream of what my family would look like. I was able to take that space and fill it with new potentials and new dreams.”
Aleksandra Balazy-Knas, an accredited cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in perinatal mental health and pregnancy after loss, told Newsweek that the kind of grief Olsen is experiencing can be isolating.
“It’s not just about the absence of another child, but also the loss of future dreams, imagined family dynamics, and the emotional investment made over years of trying,” Balazy-Knas said. “There’s often a silent mourning of baby clothes kept, names chosen, or hopes pinned on a sibling bond that may never come to be.”
Balazy-Knas, who supports clients to explore their identity beyond fertility, explained that the path to healing involves recognizing this grief as valid.
“Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting the dream; it means learning to live alongside the loss with compassion,” she said.
The reel, which has received more than 255,000 views, was met with love and support from other Instagram users.
“This must have been SO hard. Proud of you for doing this hard thing, and for being vulnerable enough to share,” one user wrote.
“Thanks for sharing. This video makes me feel less alone,” another commented.
Now, Olsen said she often has to correct herself from saying “my kids” as she adjusts to life being a mom to an only child.
“It’s easier to divide and conquer when there are two of you and only one child,” Olsen added. “We know that we can afford an education for our daughter, and saving for retirement will not be as challenging.
“While my preference would have been to have a second child, there is peace in acceptance that it wasn’t meant to be.”
The post Moment Mom Finally ‘Let Go’ of Hope of Second Baby After 7 Years of Trying appeared first on Newsweek.
