First dates can be intimidating, but going into them prepared with the right talking points can make all the difference. I asked my audience about their go-to date questions and collected a ton of great responses. After narrowing it down (because you don’t want to overwhelm your date!), here are six of the best questions to ask on a first date.
1. What is something you’re looking forward to?
This question can tell you a lot about a person. For example, if they say they’re excited about a concert, this opens up the dialogue about music, which might point to a passion of theirs. On the other hand, maybe they mention something about a career accomplishment or personal life goal, like publishing a book or starting a family. This sheds light on the person’s priorities as well as where they gain the most fulfillment.
2. What are your interests and hobbies?
Many people treat first-date conversations like interviews, asking the person sterile questions. Instead, consider asking about their interests and hobbies. What do they do in their spare time? What’s an activity they enjoy without feeling the need to monetize it? Asking this question can bring out the authentic side of someone, sparking excitement and passion.
3. What is your current job, and what is your dream job?
While people are certainly more than just their careers, it’s important to know what they do for a living and how they financially support themselves.
By asking about their current job and dream job, you can also get a glimpse at their ambitions. Are they working toward their career goals, or is it just some pipe dream they aren’t willing to chase? Do they prioritize passion over security? Neither is right nor wrong, but the answers to these questions will help you decide whether you’re aligned.
4. What are your friends and family like?
Who someone chooses to surround themselves with can tell you a lot about them. By asking about your date’s friend group or support system, you can learn about their social and personal life, the types of people they’re involved with, and how important the relationships in their lives are. Consider inquiring about special memories they share with their friends, how they met their friends, and more.
Additionally, consider asking about their family. Since this is a touchy subject for some people, you don’t might shy away from questions like “Are you close with your family?” Instead, gently express interest in what they’re like, and let them open up as much as they’re comfortable with.
5. What are you looking for in dating?
It’s important to get on the same page as the person you’re dating. Don’t be afraid to ask about the big things, like marriage and kids—especially if that’s something you want. You don’t have to start out by asking them for a timeline, but a general question about their future desires is completely valid. It won’t scare off the right people.
6. What are three things that are important to you?
This is a fun question that can help deepen your conversation. The things a person finds important will give you insight into who they are. For example, I would say my writing career, loved ones, and peace are most important to me. Basically, that sums me up as a person; and you probably have a decent idea of my priorities in life after reading that.
Be sure to prep your own answers to these questions!
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