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Late Night Doesn’t Mind Canada Putting Trump in the Friend Zone

May 7, 2025
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Late Night Doesn’t Mind Canada Putting Trump in the Friend Zone
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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Just Friends

Prime Minister Mark Carney of Canada visited the White House on Tuesday, where he said that Canada was not and would never be for sale, despite President Trump’s avid interest in annexing it.

“Then Trump went back to browsing a world map like it’s Zillow,” Jimmy Fallon said.

“Yeah, Trump said if Canada became the 51st state, it would be a ‘wonderful marriage.’ And people — and people were, like, ‘How would he know?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Aw, it’s like watching an episode of ‘Love on the Spectrum’ if the spectrum was fascism.” — DESI LYDIC

“Donald Trump has been obsessed with making Canada the 51st state ever since he found out Epstein Island was not eligible.” — DESI LYDIC

“I think Donald Trump just got friend-zoned. Canada’s, like, ‘You have been such an amazing ally, but I really think we just work better as sovereign neighbors.’” — DESI LYDIC

“Poor Mark Carney had a hell of a job today. It was like an Ewok going to the meeting on the Death Star.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“That’s true, he doesn’t take no for an answer. In fact, he was found liable for it in a court of law.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Punchiest Punchlines (Newark Edition)

“According to a new report, last week, air traffic controllers at Newark lost all communication with planes for over a minute. It’s getting to the point where we really should clap when the plane lands.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s a terrifying thing to hear. There’s not a lot of backup systems. The pilot can’t be like, ‘OK, forget radar, let’s try something else. Marco!’” — DESI LYDIC

“This blackout led to a cascade of problems throughout the week, and after a long investigation, we now know that a fried piece of copper wire sparked the blackout — unlike the other blackouts at Newark, which were caused by the Grand Coconut Margarita at Terminal A Chili’s Too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Father Guido Sarducci made a special appearance on Tuesday’s “Late Show” to discuss the upcoming papal conclave.

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

The “Hacks” star Robby Hoffman will appear on “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney.”

Also, Check This Out

Lencia Kebede is the first Black actress to play Elphaba full time in “Wicked” on Broadway.

The post Late Night Doesn’t Mind Canada Putting Trump in the Friend Zone appeared first on New York Times.

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