Dating today can be a terrifying, oftentimes gut-wrenching experience. As a result, many people have adopted hyper-independence to protect themselves from the potential heartache of failed relationships. If this is you, you might find yourself shying away from emotional conversations, never asking for/accepting help or support, or constantly emotionally preparing for a relationship to end.
On the other hand, some people are more drawn to codependent relationships, which involve excessive dependence on another person. This is common when one partner struggles with a form of addiction or a mental health issue that stops them from taking responsibility for their own healing.
However, relying on your partner or friend is not a weakness. In fact, it can actually bring you two closer together. A healthier, more mutually beneficial form of dependence is interdependence, and it could be the key to a successful, fulfilling relationship.
What is Interdependence?
According to Cara Gardenswartz, Ph.D., in her Psychology Today article on the term, “Interdependence represents the delicate dance of mutual reliance and support within relationships.”
“Unlike the notion of rugged independence, interdependence acknowledges the inherent interconnectedness of individuals and celebrates the strength found in collaboration,” she continued. “In interdependent relationships, partners embrace their vulnerabilities, share responsibilities, and draw strength from each other’s unique qualities.”
Gardenswartz said that interdependence involves mutual support, shared decision-making, emotional intimacy, and healthy boundaries.
While it might feel uncomfortable or even scary to rely on another person in any way, interdependence is crucial for forming deep connections and emotional bonds. Humans are wired for love and social connection. Interdependence allows us to strike a balance of dependence through vulnerability and clear communication. Each person still maintains their individuality, coming together as two whole people who can rely on each other.
I know it can be tempting to run from—or cling to—romantic relationships when the stakes feel significantly high. But acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and coming together as two flawed yet good-intentioned humans is a beautiful thing. Interdependence allows for genuine connection.
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