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When it comes to discreet sex toys, everyone has their own set of metrics for what constitutes a discreet vibrator—but they’re almost always boxes to check on size, sound, and design. For some folks, the best discreet vibrator is one that looks like it could moonlight as a beauty blender or a JBL speaker (see: this male masturbator); for others, the discretion might have nothing to do with an incognito design, and everything to do with whether or not it sounds like they’re powering up a jet ski when they push that “On” button.
If you’re new to buying sex toys, start by asking yourself what kind of pleasure you’re looking for. Are you seeking clitoral stimulation? Partner play? Are you curious about taking a toy on your upcoming White Lotus-inspired spring vacation? Whether you’re a seasoned sex toy user or completely new to the arena, I have rounded up a selection of the best discreet vibrators for every aesthetic and budget.
A Travel-Size Bullet Vibe (That Looks Like a Lipstick Tube)
Bellesa Whisper Bullet Vibrator
About the toy: There’s nothing sultry about switching on a sex toy and hearing a vibrator that’s operating at a monster truck rally’s decibel levels. This Bellesa brand bullet vibrator, however, is specifically designed to be whisper-quiet—which is exciting, discretion-wise, and quite rare to find in the normally rumbly and buzzy bullet vibrator category. It’s just over three inches in length, making it ideal as an on-the-go vibe, but it still packs five vibration settings and is completely water-submersible and rechargeable.
How to use it: Primarily, this is the kind of bullet vibrator designed for external clitoral stimulation. But you can also use the toy to externally stimulate your partner’s erogenous zones or perineum. Just remember: don’t insert it into the anus as it doesn’t have a flared base.
By Bellesa WhisperBulletOne of the most quiet vibrators on the market. See At Bboutique$59
The Vibrator That Looks Like an Art Object
Dame Pom Vibrator
About the toy: Shaped vaguely like a Goober candle from your favorite design store, Dame’s Pom vibrator is a bestseller from the women-owned and operated brand, which was founded by sexologist Alexandra Fine and engineer Janet Lieberman over a decade ago in the hopes of improving the design standards of female sexual wellness products. Pom is a testament to that mission, and an external clitoral vibrator that is designed to be cupped in your hand. The vibe is made out of a soft, slightly bendy medical-grade silicone material, and gives you five speeds and five vibration settings to play with.
How to use it: Pom is also an external clitoral vibrator—not that there’s anything stopping you from massaging it around the rest of your body—that has a tantalizing, rumbly motor. Simply cup it in the palm of your hand and massage it over your clitoris, or use it as a lay-on vibrator (industry speak for a humping and grinding toy).
Dame Pom Vibrator A flexible, palm-sized vibe for beginner and seasoned sex toy enthusiasts alike. See At Dame$99
Those TikTok-Viral Rose Vibrators (Are Worth the Hype)
Lovehoney Clitoral Rose-Shaped Suction Vibrator
About the toy: Remember all of the TikTok fanfare over those rose-shaped clitoral vibes? Well, I’m happy to report that they are, in fact, as great as folks make them out to be—specifically, I’m a fan of the Lovehoney iteration for its soft silicone and gentle suction abilities. For those who are new to Lovehoney, the site is essentially like Amazon for sex toys (but with a much more reliable shipping system, in my opinion; a toy has never arrived dented from the retailer).
How to use it: “What is that, a Beautyblender?” was one of the comments from a friend when I first showed them my rose vibe. As with a palm vibrator (or beauty sponge), this little bud is designed to be cupped in your hand for external clitoral stimulation. Unlike Pom, though, this vibrator uses 10 suction modes to recreate the feeling of oral sex, providing undulating and gentle air waves over your clitoris without ever directly touching it. I recommend adding a generous amount of water-based lube (silicone lubrication will wear down the material over time) to really maximize the experience.
Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction StimulatorThis internet-famous vibrator lives up to the hype. See At Lovehoney$50
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The Most Discreet Male Sex Toy
Desire Luxury 2 Vibrating Male Stroker
About the toy: Male sex toys are not always the easiest to clean, typically because the most famous Fleshlights are closed tube-like devices that require extensive rinsing, etc. That’s where a plein air vibrator like this comes in handy, allowing the penis-owner (or their partner) to please themselves without all of that impending clean-up killing the vibe. Desire wins in discretion points for its low-key design, as it’s more enigmatic in design than, say, this ‘anatomical’ stroker, and its motor runs on the quiet side.
How to use it: Place a flaccid or semi-erect penis through the loop, and gently stroke it from base to tip with the vibrator’s 12 speeds and eight patterns. The stroker is made out of a gentle silicone material that won’t overwhelm the shaft, and it’s also designed at a slight angle to cover more surface area.
Desire Luxury 20 Function Vibrating Male StrokerThe ultimate fleshlight alternative. See At Lovehoney$130
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A Vibrator That Doubles as Jewelry
Unbound Babes Flick Ring Vibrator
About the toy: Unbound Babes is perhaps the coolest kid on the block when it comes to the new influx of sex toy brands, and so many of its toys, from ethereal wands to kinky cuffs, are designed to feel like veritable art objects. The Flick ring vibrator is the newest addition to its innovative toy line-up, and its discretion lies in the fact that it doubles as a ring that could be sitting FROW at a Rick Owens show/hanging out on my SSENSE wishlist.
How to use it: Flick is an external vibrator with three speeds and two intensity levels, and it’s also size adjustable with interchangeable bands that cover sizes four to 11. Out of all the vibrators on this list, it wins the incognito award for the fact that it truly is jewelry, too—but it also wins big points for how transportable it is; take it on vacation, to your parents’ house for holidays (they’ll never suspect a thing!) or toss it in your purse the next time you get drinks with your eternal situationship. The possibilities are endless.
Unbound Babes Flick Ring VibratorA wearable vibrator that’s actually chic? Say less. See At Unbound Babes$64
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