Q: Two years ago, my husband and I bought a co-op in Jackson Heights, Queens. Our building and those around it surround a private garden, where a “no noise” rule is clearly posted. In our co-op board interview, this was the No. 1 issue: The garden is a quiet zone. Children must be supervised at all times. Well, it isn’t and they’re not. There’s a small but hostile faction of residents who have young children who go berserk in the garden, screaming, and running. They are unsupervised (or “supervised” by parents scrolling on their phones). It’s untenable for people who work from home. Polite requests to reduce noise are met with hostility. Can we call the police? Sue the residents’ association?
A: Please resist the urge to call the police on children playing outside. You can always escalate the situation in order to assert what you believe are your rights by filing a lawsuit. But that will be expensive and could cause more strife in your community. And there’s no guarantee of getting the result you want.
There are legitimate competing interests here: your need to peacefully work from home and enjoy your apartment, and young families’ needs for outdoor recreation. The tension you describe is common.
“Nothing triggers fear and anger more quickly, more dramatically, than threats to home, hearth, and community,” said Roger A. Moss, a mediator who has worked on real estate disputes.
Noise conflicts in multifamily housing can be particularly vexing, especially when children are involved. Your disappointment that your expectations for a quiet garden aren’t being met is understandable. But you must also consider the needs of your neighbors. Maybe those children are unwinding after a long day at school. Children can be loud. And those parents scrolling on their phones might be doing the work they weren’t able to do in the office, because they had to pick up their children from school.
These kinds of conflicts are normal and often can be addressed with a series of small conversations, though the conflict may never completely fade away, Mr. Moss said. You should seek a resolution that treats each person in the conflict with dignity.
Bringing in a professional mediator with no ties to your community could help. Get everyone into the garden to talk about the problem in a granular way, encouraging participants to really listen to each other. One solution could be to limit outdoor play to certain hours. “Stop talking about rights, start talking about mutual concern and interest,” Mr. Moss said.
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The post My Neighbors’ Kids Are Driving Me Crazy! How Do I Get Some Quiet? appeared first on New York Times.
