A wedding videographer’s advice to a groom preparing to see his bride-to-be is going viral — and people are calling it the pep talk every man needs.
Kalli Obray is a 26-year-old wedding videographer based in Spanish Fork, Utah. On March 19, ahead of one couple’s April wedding, she filmed a first look — a pre-wedding event that she says has become a popular trend in Utah for couples hoping to avoid a wedding-day whirlwind and capture intimate moments without being rushed.
Days later, on March 28, she shared a clip of the interaction on TikTok, which quickly struck a chord.
In the video, Obray can be heard coaching the groom just before he sees his fiancée.
“There’s one rule for this, and it literally is just to make her feel like a million bucks,” Obray says in the clip. “She doesn’t need you to, like, cry. She doesn’t need you to jump up with joy. She just wants you to be yourself and make her feel beautiful.”
Obray’s words sparked positive reactions, with users cheering her on for her encouragement.
“This better be my photographer on my wedding day!” one user chimed in. “Lol, I’m gonna send them this lol.”
“That right there just made me start crying, and I haven’t even seen the bride yet,” another replied.
Speaking to TODAY.com, Obray spoke about her advice, rooted in 5 years of experience as a bridal videographer and owner of Kallico Videography. She spoke about her own awareness of how social media can amplify the pressure couples feel leading up to their wedding day.
“There’s this expectation of, ‘Oh, my gosh, I have these cameras pointed at me. I feel so spotlighted right now. I feel like I have to react a certain way when I’m already feeling nervous and anxious,’” she explains. “In the best way, of course, you’re obviously excited —but I just feel like there’s this expectation on men specifically to respond and react a certain way, whether it’s bursting into tears or jumping up and down with joy.”
Obray says this is why she takes a moment to reset those expectations.
“My reason for saying this was truly just to remove that pressure of feeling like there’s an expectation and just remind him like the core reason that his bride wants to do this,” she continues. “It is truly: One, to feel admired and beautiful, and two, because she loves him and wants to capture his unique reaction to how she looks.”
For Obray, the best reaction is the most authentic one.
“It’s not a bad thing for men to cry or be overly excited,” she adds. “It’s just about feeling like you have to do that if that’s not who you are. It’s just a good reminder to be yourself and not feel pressure to respond in any specific way.”
Obray says starting with that reminder often helps ease the moment.
“I think centering the men doing that before we do it really, really helps too. You can almost, like, see the stress, like, ease off of their back a little bit,” she adds. “And so I start all of my first looks that way, and I think it makes a huge difference.”
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