Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Tariff Man
President Trump announced new tariffs on Canada and Mexico over the weekend but agreed to pause them for 30 days on Monday.
Jimmy Kimmel called Trump’s tariffs “fake,” saying he was “pretending to issue tariffs so that Canada and Mexico can pretend to bend over for him, and then it’ll look like he’s the big hero.”
“He’s like a toddler negotiating nap time with his parents.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“People are wondering why Trump would start a war with our closest allies, and he was like, ‘I didn’t say anything about Russia and North Korea.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but the last people you want to upset are your upstairs and downstairs neighbors.” — JIMMY FALLON
“So now, we have a one-month cease-fire in what some liberal rag called The Wall Street Journal described as ‘the dumbest trade war in history.’ To which the Dallas Mavericks said, ‘Hold my Luka Dončić.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But you do have to hand it to him. Starting the ‘world’s dumbest trade war’ is an accomplishment to add to a very long list: first of all, world’s dumbest trade war, world’s dumbest Covid response, world’s dumbest climate policy, world’s dumbest hurricane map, world’s dumbest election interference, world’s dumbest wildfire response, world’s dumbest crowd size comparison, world’s dumbest insurrection, and world’s dumbest Eric. He’s like the Michael Phelps of the world’s dumbest stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“No American wakes up saying, ‘Damn Canada. We should really go after Canada.’ I mean, except for Kendrick Lamar. That dude has it out for Canadian rap.” — SETH MEYERS
“I just hope cooler heads prevail and the countries involved in this dumb trade war can all get back to selling each other crap as soon as possible.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Tequila Edition)
“President Trump imposed a 25 percent tariff over the weekend on goods coming from Canada, including honey, whiskey and peanut butter. Or, as Rudy Giuliani calls it, ‘my morning smoothie.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Today he un-issued the tariffs, he decided to hold them for a month. I guess he must’ve seen the guacamole bill for his Super Bowl party.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And it’s not just the fruit and the veg, it’s also the essentials, because tariffs could raise the price of tequila. Well, now what are Americans supposed to drink if they want to end an evening in jail?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Oh, and I read that the tariffs against Mexico could cause tequila prices to skyrocket. In response, George Clooney said, ‘That’s not good. I have my own tequila brand, and it’s made in Mexico.’ Then Nick Jonas and Mark Wahlberg said, ‘Same here. This is really gonna affect our tequila brands as well.’ Then Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Guy Fieri, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Levine, George Strait, LeBron James, Kendall Jenner, Rita Ora, Michael Jordan, Blake Lively, Eva Longoria, AC/DC, and the Chainsmokers said, ‘Ditto.’ And finally, Diddy said, ‘This explains why no one’s buying my tequila.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Lin-Manuel Miranda challenged the idiom “Never meet your heroes” on Monday’s “Late Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The indie pop band Japanese Breakfast will perform a song from its forthcoming album “For Melancholy Brunettes (and Sad Women)” on “The Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Jennifer Finney Boylan’s fifth memoir, “Cleavage,” explores her 36-year marriage, her adult children and life as a “weary but fabulous poster girl.”
The post Late Night Weighs In on the ‘World’s Dumbest Trade War’ appeared first on New York Times.
