My partner and I thought parenthood would never happen, and we were both 39 when our daughter arrived 19 years ago. I believe age and experience have made us better and wiser parents.
Since we had her, our lives have been enriched with many beautiful experiences and memories, and we are so grateful for them.
We were the oldest parents in our antenatal class and almost double the age of some parents in the parenting group we joined. Those facts never bothered us because we were excited about the challenges and the journey ahead.
We were in a good place to have a child
As older parents who had been in a stable relationship for over 10 years, we were mentally and financially in a good position to start a family and juggle work, life, and childcare commitments.
My partner and I were determined to nurture our daughter to the best of our ability, and that was made easier because we shared the same parenting goals of love, growth, and open communication. We changed routines and prioritized our daughter’s needs.
I took paternity leave from my job as an office manager because my partner had just started her own physical therapy practice at home. Being a house dad for the first 18 months of my daughter’s life was a joy. We played, explored, and bonded, and my partner was always nearby and able to share those early magical moments.
Between nappy changing and feeding, and while she slept, I worked through a creative writing correspondence course, which two years later enabled me to start a new career in community journalism. Without the catalyst of my beautiful daughter, I would never have taken that plunge.
The daily routine included reading time, playtime in the local park, and half days at preschool and kindergarten. Our daughter developed a deep love of reading and accumulated an impressive library of books.
She brought new experiences into our lives
Parenting is a two-way street of shared experiences. My daughter’s involvement in sports exposed me to competitive rowing and the discipline involved in Tai Kwon Do, and she also introduced me to the thrill of school debating and spelling competitions. Without her, there would have been no muddy school trips, girl-guide adventures, or Saturday morning soccer on waterlogged fields.
I have my daughter to thank for so many wonderful memories. I can still picture her leading the way and scrambling on a surfboard when we had surf lessons in Australia for my partner’s 50th birthday. My daughter has kept us adventurous and young at heart, even as we approach 60.
In return, we have shared some key life skills with her. She shares our love of food and cooking. She has traveled widely and is an adventurous eater and cook.
My parenting journey has included laughter, tears, tantrums, and frustrations. Flying long-distance with a 21-month-old is not recommended. Neither is losing your daughter’s precious cuddly toy while overseas. What I do recommend is sharing food at a Singaporean food stall, drinking mocktails by the pool at a Rarotongan resort, and sitting alongside your beaming daughter on a roller coaster while trying to keep your stomach contents in.
The parenting journey is never done
I’m proud of how my daughter has turned out. She is bright, confident, and kind-hearted and is about to start her second year as a law student. I am also quietly proud of the job my partner and I have done as older parents in raising her.
Parenting is a tough job — no matter your age — because there will always be challenges. Being a dad has taught me to share love and given me more patience and flexibility, both of which I lacked in my first 40 years. It has also shown me that confrontation is not always necessary, while praise is.
I’m older and wiser from all my experiences and ready for whatever comes next.
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