A dad has revealed why he kept the date of his daughter’s birthday a secret from her.
Kyle Philippi from Chattanooga, Tennessee, took to social media on the day of his daughter Isabella’s 10th birthday. She didn’t know it was her special day at the time, but Philippi had valid reasons for that.
Kids’ birthday parties can be expensive affairs. Last year, a survey of just over 400 moms conducted by the website What To Expect found the average children’s birthday party costs around $314.
Given that kind of outlay, it’s understandable that parents would want it to be an enjoyable experience for the birthday kid. That’s part of the reason why Philippi and his wife decided to hold back this year when it came to Isabella’s big day on January 2.
Isabella has a learning disorder. She is autistic and lives with both dyslexia and an auditory processing disorder. “She’s been in therapy four days a week since she was 18 months old,” Philippi told Newsweek.
Two years ago, they tried to host a party for her, but the time of year made it difficult. “None of her friends could come because it’s in the middle of Christmas break,” he said.
Last year they took a different approach. “We celebrated her birthday with her family and her best friend,” Philippi said. “We went to Dave & Buster’s. We saw a movie, had a sleepover, had gifts, had cake, but we didn’t have all her friends.”
That proved to be something of a problem for Isabella. “Throughout the day, she was distracted and stressed over why her friends couldn’t be there on her actual birthday, even though she knew a party with all her friends was coming in a couple weeks,” Philippi said. “She couldn’t process the idea that her friends were going to be there for her actual birthday And she was stressed the whole day.”
This time around they decided to do things differently by distracting Isabella from the fact it was her birthday and delaying it until January 11, when she could celebrate with her friends.
“She can’t read a calendar,” Philippi said. “She knows that her birthday is January 2 but has no way of knowing when it is. She’s been counting down her birthday for two months now. She has to keep a count in her head because she can’t read a calendar.”
Though it might seem like an unusual approach from the outside, Philippi is keen to stress that it’s all about making sure Isabella has as enjoyable a birthday as possible, even if it’s not on her actual birthday.
“It’s hard for her to process things said to her, and she has a very hard time regulating her emotions when she’s hyper focused on a problem,” he said. “These are all things that she is getting better and better at with age.”
But while this all sounds good in theory, it can be difficult to implement in practice, as the video Philippi posted to TikTok under the handle kylephilippi, demonstrates. Throughout the clip, it’s clear Philippi is struggling with the emotion of the situation as they attempt to mark the date while keeping it down low from their daughter.
“It was really difficult to not tell her that it was her birthday all day,” he said. “My wife and I kept just looking at her lovingly and being so proud of her and smiling and we even got her favorite meal which is Wingstop wings and we just silently celebrated her and did a lot of stuff around the house that she loves.”
They played games, gave her some “extra Christmas gifts” they had forgotten about and, as Philippi puts it, “just showed her extra love.” It proved to be the best of seemingly normal days. Over the past few days, they have started the build up to her birthday party.
Isabella is back at school now and while they are anxious at the thought of her discovering her birthday has been and gone when she gets back in the classroom, Philippi said that if she asks, they will say: ” Yes, January 2 is the day you were born but January 11 is the day we celebrate you with everyone.”
It won’t be forever either. “My wife and I hope that by next year she will be able to process and adapt to the concept that even though her birthday is during break, it can be celebrated later,” Philippi said.
Though it might amount to a little extra work, ultimately it’s all going worth it if Isabella has a happy birthday—and she will.
The post Dad Reveals Why He’s Keeping Date of 10-Year-Old’s Birthday Secret From Her appeared first on Newsweek.
