Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
I say we’ve waited long enough.
Those among us who are passionate about the topic have followed every twist and turn of this epic drama — all the names whispered in the corridors, the not-so-secret backdoor deals leaked by insiders and the bold public statements.
Is the moment here, at last? Will we finally get the answer we’ve been looking for, whether we like it or not?
It might not be the sequel that Brussels deserves, but it is the sequel it needs right now, despite long delays and accusations of ignoring factual truths …
Gladiator II hit the cinemas last week.
It only took director Ridley Scott a little over 20 years to release his second historical(-ish) drama set in ancient Rome, complete with gladiators riding rhinos and sharks swimming in the Colosseum. And if you — like some historians — doubt the film’s accuracy, the Oscar-nominated director has explained his logical approach to writing the script: “‘Excuse me, mate, were you there?’ No? Well, shut the f**k up then.”
If Scott can so eloquently convince Hollywood to make Gladiator 2.0 happen, surely Ursula von der Leyen can get the European Parliament to approve her new class of commissioners.
After yet another closed-door meeting where the leaders of the European Parliament’s political groups discussed the fate of the six executive vice president nominees (plus Hungary’s candidate), we know … roughly as much as we did before.
The real journalists — as opposed to yours truly, filling in this column temporarily and undeservingly — at POLITICO Towers are hopeful that next week’s Parliament vote will be the last. Cooler heads seem to be prevailing: If that’s true, we could soon go home with a glass of mulled wine and be done with it already. If it isn’t and those cooler heads get heated, they might decide to send VDL back to the drawing board and force her to start from scratch. 26 live blogs covering each commissioner’s grilling and all. Christmas ruined for the Brussels bubble!
Whether my esteemed colleagues’ hopes of a peaceful approval of commissioners on Nov. 27 by the European Parliament will be met or not, we can all agree the last six months have been quite a ride: from the European election, followed by a surprise French parliamentary election, to incumbent commissioners dropped unceremoniously and nominees with an athletic mindset ushered in.
Brussels, are you not entertained?
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Last week we gave you this photo:
Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best from our postbag — there’s no prize except for the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or booze.
“Snog, Marry, Avoid.” by Anonymous
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