Prabal Gurung Reveals the Cover to His Literary Memoir, Walk Like a Girl

When it came time to title his forthcoming memoir, the Nepalese American fashion designer Prabal Gurung drew from an unusual source: childhood bullies. He was inspired, he told Vanity Fair, by “the words that were hurled at me” at his all-boys school in Nepal. “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me; I was an effeminate kid,” he says. “It became my mantra.”

Walk Like a Girl, which Viking will publish in May, traces the designer’s life from his upbringing in Kathmandu through his move to New York, and on to the founding of his namesake label, which counts Kamala Harris, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Kate Middleton, and many others among its fans.

To reveal the cover for Walk Like a Girl, Gurung spoke to VF about moving from the runway to the page, and capturing his own personal American dream.

Vanity Fair: What does the phrase “walk like a girl” mean to you now?

Prabal Gurung: It is, personally, everything that I stand for. Even before I understood the word patriarchy or matriarchy, I was surrounded by female power and energy. To grow up in a household where there was such strong female energy, and then to walk into a world where that was something to be ashamed of—for women to have ambition was almost looked down upon—it was such a shock.

‘Walk Like a Girl: A Memoir’ by Prabal Gurung

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Everything that we talk about right now is a heart-led conversation. Growing up it was all about ruthless ambition, success at any cost. There was such a celebration of characters, like in American Psycho. What was entertaining was how campy and ridiculous it was. I just felt like, wait a second, look at the state of the world, at these dogmatic dictators that we have—not just in the political forum, but also in our real lives. I know for a fact—we all know for a fact—what happens when you have a patriarchy versus matriarchy. What is happening in American politics right now is a perfect looming example.

How did you decide on this cover?

We’re positioning this as a literary memoir, rather than as a celebrity memoir. It was important for me. We talked about having no picture of me. But at the end of the day, what was really important was that this book reach many people, for various reasons. I realized someone who looks like me, which is not necessarily always on the cover of a book or a magazine—I thought it was important not to shrink in this particular moment.

My nephew Arhant is a photographer who studied at Bard College, and then he moved to Nepal. He came out when he was 13 years old. He took the photo when I was back home in Nepal last year in my mom’s apartment, near her balcony and the natural light. I felt completely myself.

Your mother is central to the memoir. You dedicated your 2019 monograph to her as well, writing that she always made sure that you had the correct shade of lipstick. Is there a specific story behind that dedication?

I don’t want to cry, but recently I had a conversation when I was back in Nepal and I said to her, “You are in Nepal. What made you—at the risk of getting yourself into trouble— allow me to wear makeup if I wanted? To wear heels or dresses and everything?” And she said to me, “I would be rearranging your sister’s dresses and I would see the look on your face. So I would always say, do you like it?” And I would just apparently nod. And then she said, “Do you want to try that?” And I would nod vigorously. She was like, “as a mother, I don’t think about anything else except for your joy.”

You’ve explored very personal experiences through your designs. Your fall 2024 collection, you’ve said, was an ode to your father. How did the experience of writing the memoir compare to that? Was it more exposing?

Absolutely, yes. With fashion and what I do, I talk about politics. I talk about my conflicted, fraught relationship with my father—I understood his plight, also. But at the same time, I am safe, surrounded by the swathes of fabrics and models and the runway.

But when you write—and it has been like, what, five and a half years, six years, since I started writing the first paragraph. And it was scary. There were so many things that I hadn’t said. Even though I’m such an open person with my friends and everyone, many of them would be shocked to read about a few of these things. Out of everything that I’ve done in my entire life, this has been the most scary.

The book chronicles so many good and bad things that you faced moving to America, more than 25 years ago. Where are you, now, with the good old USA?

America, for a lot of us, is a promised land. A lot of my dreams, my aspiration, my independence, depended on me moving here. When I moved to New York, there was no talk about diversity, inclusivity—nothing, no conversation around that at all. It was challenging to be a person of color living in the city. But my story would never happen in any other country. Going on unemployment, launching my own thing deep in recession, Michelle Obama wearing [my clothes]—it doesn’t happen anywhere else.

When Trump came in, he reminded me of every guy that used to bully me. I was just like, is this it?

When President Biden was still in the running and we saw what was happening—like, Are we going to lose again?—I was in India and Nepal, and to see the progressive conversation that was being had in Nepal and India, in spite of their own issues, I was like, did I make a mistake in moving to America? Where women’s rights are in danger, and possibly that means gay rights could be…

With the announcement of Kamala Harris running, I was just like, let’s go. Let’s fucking go. It was a big lesson to me to not give up on this country.

You’ve dressed Harris multiple times now over the years. Have you gotten particular direction or feedback on what she’s looking for in her campaign trail outfits?

I really can’t talk about that. I’ll just say, I’ve been very fortunate to dress her.

Obviously her fashion is being scrutinized more closely, I think it’s fair to assume, because she’s a woman. And I’m curious if you think that’s a good thing, a bad thing…

It just is. As a woman, you know better than anyone else that everything a woman does, even a sneeze, is scrutinized. I think it’s a good thing, personally for me, because how you dress, what you choose to wear, who you choose to wear—you are everything that you do, as a human being. The clothes are a way of telling a story. If you think about the climate crisis, the responsibility of what we wear and who we wear is even more crucial.

When I was watching her DNC speech, or in the debate with Donald Trump, what was really empowering to me was as I was listening—obviously I’m in fashion, I look at her, what she’s wearing, her hair. [Here, Gurung mimics himself analyzing both candidates’ appearances] “Oh, he’s a little too…the tanning is not right.” You scrutinize everything. That’s just the nature of my job. But the most amazing thing that happened to me was that I completely forgot her gender when she was speaking. I was transported to the policies. I was looking at a leader talk about issues, policies, and a plan.

Clearly she’s a woman. Clearly there’s a femininity to her, and there’s so much power. She’s not shrinking. She’s not underplaying her femininity, she’s not overplaying, she’s not relying on it, nor is she rejecting it.

You once said, of fashion still being “predominantly a white person’s game,” that there are two options: “to be angry or to bring change.” In what ways do you hope that the memoir will be part of whatever change you’re looking to see?

What I always envied in Europe, and especially in Paris, was people could talk about politics. In my household, also, we could talk about politics, fashion, film, love affairs, one-night stands, the great sex you had… And then to come to America where it’s like, You work in fashion, you don’t talk about politics. I was really shocked.

We are living in a world where we are very cynical, angry. We are quick to dismiss each other. With this memoir, there was a post-it in front of my desk. It said, “Grace, grace, grace.” We need to have these conversations and confrontations gracefully. That’s the only way we can bring change.

This transcript has been edited for length and clarity.