In Agatha All Along, the road to purple dreams is paved with iridescent flagstones. Agatha Harknessâ reinvigoration as her true witchy self comes with a sleek, jacketed fit in her preferred color scheme. But it doesnât come with any reinstatement of her powers. And with Rio Vidalâs Episode 1 promise that a witchcraft governing body known as The Salem Seven will surely be contacting Agatha, she knows that freeing herself from Wanda Maximoffâs town-sized hex wasnât the end of her problems. Which is why itâs lucky she has a superfan in Teen. Heâs read up on Agathaâs eras tour â the 17th century Salem years, those were a highlight â and with her familiar by her side, sheâll be able to build a coven and get them onto the Witchesâ Road. Power for her, power for him, and maybe even some resolution about where Wanda went. But first Agatha wants to know more about this Teen. Heâs got a real name, a boyfriend, a car, a family â whatâs it all about? Not so fast. This kid knows a lot about witches. It is true: he stans. But the witching community apparently knows a lot about him, too. And magic is currently impeding him from commenting on any of it.
Rio Vidal dropped a bit of a truth bomb before she disappeared at the end of episode 1. âI do have a heart,â the warrior witch told Agatha. âItâs black, and it beats for you.â Which could mean a lot of things, but whatâs for sure is that the tension between Agatha and Rio doesnât derive exclusively from malice. Already, their relationship is full of hints and allusions to go along with all of the front doors exploding off hinges. And while Vidalâs gone, Agatha grabs Teen and begins to conjure her coven. First stop: the reader & advisor storefront operated by Lilia Calderu (Patti LuPone). Divination is a key element to building a Witchesâ Road coven, and Liliaâs been a practitioner for 450 years. Which also means she knows Agatha Harkness from work. âYouâve been under the influence of another. They took your agency. For three yearsâ¦â
A potions guide is another requirement, and thatâs where Jennifer Kale (Sasheer Zamata) comes in. In the real world, Jenniferâs Goop-like wellness concoctions keep the Karens in fresh skin. But in the witchy world, sheâs literally in a bind. With her magic powers suspended indefinitely, Jennifer also has cause to walk the Witchesâ Road. Sheâll join Agathaâs coven while keeping a wary eye on who she refers to as âwitch killer.â As for Alice Wu-Gulliver (Ali Ahn), sheâs a protector and a âbloodwitch,â meaning her rock star mother passed the witchy gene onto her daughter. But when she wasnât performing at Red Rocks, her mom was also lost on the Witchesâ Road. So there is hope this quest will uncover some answers.
They still need a green witch. A woman of the earth, the soil. And while Agatha is coy about what a âblack heartâ drawn on Liliaâs list of potential coven members could mean, she improvises a quick fix. Itâs Debra Jo Rupp, wine-drinking mom from That 70âs Show and Mrs. Hart from WandaVision, who since the hex wore off is just Sharon Davis, neighborhood green thumb. Sharon/Mrs. Hart might not know anything about witchcraft, but sheâs always down for a cocktail party.
Itâs not like you can just drop a pin. The Road is a conjured place, and as Agatha gathers the coven crew in her basement, they begin to sing. âWake thy power, earthly and divineâ â Sharon does her best to fit in with these women â âburn and brew with coven true, and glory shall be thine.â Their voices rise and become harmonious as mysterious hooded figures mass outside.Â
Itâs interesting, the bond Lilia, Jennifer, and Alice are building with Agatha, even as they recognize and readily acknowledge her duplicitous, centuries-long rep. (And additionally, itâs really fun to watch LuPone, Zamata, Ahn, and Rupp establish a rapid-fire rapport with Hahn.) Each of these witches have reason to join the hunt for the Witchesâ Road. But there is more than personal gain operating here. The group stays, even after they realize Agatha was kind of just stringing them along with the song, and hoping to trick them into a personal power-up just for her. (âI donât have time for this! Just blast me, you bitches!â) The adventure they are conjuring already has layers, and the newly-minted coven hasnât even left their Westview basement.
There is still no sign of Rio Vidal. And the cloaked baddies have made their way into the house. But with all the complaining about Agathaâs trickery, at first no one notices the hatch that has appeared in the basement floor. A hatch that is glowing. Teen doesnât need an invitation, and he sprints down the steps that appear below it, followed closely by the whole gang as theyâre pursued by the hoods. And down there, surrounded by glowing purple tree roots and shimmery stones on a path winding into the unknown, is what seems to be the route to their fantastical destination. Prepare yourselves for trials on The Witchesâ Road.
Does the Witchesâ Road hold the answers to what each of these individuals seek? Is it as much a haven for trickery as Agatha is an established stealer of other witch power? And what possible changes to their character might it induce, for better or worse? Whatever happens down there, itâs gonna be a wild ride. There should be an orange diamond-shaped sign of warning. Prepare for trials on the Witchesâ Road.
Johnny Loftus (@glennganges) is an independent writer and editor living at large in Chicagoland. His work has appeared in The Village Voice, All Music Guide, Pitchfork Media, and Nicki Swift.
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