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Best in Show
On Tuesday, Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met for their only scheduled debate before the election. Three of the five late-night shows went live after it ended, with Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jon Stewart offering their takes.
Colbert said that Harris “came out swinging,” looking to “rattle Trump’s cage.”
“And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Harris got under his skin like she was stuffing in butter and rosemary. It was beautiful. By the end of the debate, the meat was falling off the bone.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Usually when Donald Trump gets a spanking like this from a woman, it’s with a Forbes magazine. Kamala was pushing his buttons like a 12-year-old playing Fortnite.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
On “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart called out Trump for his answer to a question about his involvement in the Jan. 6. insurrection.
“You spent two months riling up your base that our country had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means, that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law, and let — let yourself just abuse them. You pressed on. You abused their trust. You showed up for a speech? You [expletive] tweeted ‘Join me on Jan. 6. It will be wild.’ But suddenly now: ‘I was just a hired magician to do the bar mitzvah! I didn’t do anything. I showed up with a hat and a rabbit and then the whole party went out of control!’” — JON STEWART
“And this is it, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t know if this debate is going to change anything. I really don’t. People are awfully set in the manner that they view these proceedings. What I think is a home-run answer for one candidate, someone else views as a dodge or a lie or any of those other things. In some ways, it doesn’t matter what they say anymore, but one thing will always be true, and it is the quality of the former president I respect the least: Whenever he is cornered and forced to face even the smallest of consequences for his own mendacity and scheming, he reverts to the greatest refuge of scoundrels. As Shaggy would say, ‘It wasn’t me!’” — JON STEWART
“[imitating Trump] OK, but you can’t believe a thing I say. I’m crazy! Everybody knows that! I’m the Hannibal Lecter whale guy. Immigrants are taking our cats and giving them operations to turn them into dogs and then eating the dogs. Whale!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Up Your Dogs Edition)
“I had to believe that during the debate prep, the one thing Donald Trump’s handlers begged him not to mention was this thing about Haitians eating pets: ‘[imitating handler] Please, Mr. President, stick to the economy and the border, anything other than Ohio Haitians eating pets.’ So what does he do?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A quick reminder to all of the pet owners out there: Always remember to leash your dogs. It’s an important way to keep your dogs from fighting other dogs or being hit by a car or being eaten by your immigrant neighbors.” — JON STEWART
“[imitating Trump] No, I saw on television. It’s crazy what they’re doing. On television, there’s one town where they make the dogs do all the work. They are the police, the fire department, everything. Little puppies! They got — they got these little puppies, folks. No, I saw it! They call them ‘The Paw Patrol,’ and their boss is a little boy. And it’s so sad, I’m telling you.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You know what else he sees on television? He sees Steve Harvey; he sees families having feuds. [imitating Trump] ‘These feuds would never happen if I was president, that I can tell you.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The actor Kevin Hart joined Seth Meyers for a little day drinking on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The actress Kathryn Hahn will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
James Earl Jones changed perceptions about Black actors in Hollywood with his work in films like “Dr. Strangelove,” “Claudine,” and “Star Wars.”
The post Late Night Hosts Declare Harris the Winner in the Debate appeared first on New York Times.
