Abigail Sommers and Forrest Gray met in January 2015 when both joined Delta Kappa Alpha, an organization at the University of Southern California for students interested in the cinematic arts. The two pledged by participating in challenging group activities, like making a Wes Anderson-style horror film in 24 hours or wearing a beret continuously for a semester. “They said you could only take the beret off for the three S’s — sleep, sex and shower,” Mr. Gray said.
Ms. Sommers was an undergraduate majoring in cinema and media studies at the university. Mr. Gray had recently graduated from the Berklee College of Music in Boston and was pursuing a graduate certificate in scoring for motion pictures and television, a one-year program he completed that spring.
He remembers being “immediately taken” by Ms. Sommers’s large, almond-colored eyes and dark sense of humor. “Her bubbly appearance belied an inner sardonic quality,” he said.
Mr. Gray, 31, spent his childhood in Sag Harbor, N.Y., in a family of creative people, which included his father, Spalding Gray, a monologuist and actor who died in 2004. It was not a religious household. When he was 10, the younger Mr. Gray declared he did not believe in God.
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Ms. Sommers, who is 29 and known as Abi, grew up in Santa Clarita, Calif., in a more conservative environment. Her father, David Sommers, is a driver on film and television sets in Los Angeles; her mother, Michelle Sommers, is a retired special education teacher. Ms. Sommers attended a Christian high school and was often advised against dating a non-Christian on the premise that one person in the relationship would probably end up converting the other. “It’s called ‘missionary dating,’” she said.
Mr. Gray’s mother, Kathie Russo, a podcast producer in Sag Harbor, described the couple’s different backgrounds this way: “Abi went to a conservative high school where they bought a commemorative birthday cake for Ronald Reagan every year. Forrest went to the Ross School in East Hampton, where there was once a debate about the artistic merits of a U.S. flag affixed with dildos.”
To get to know Ms. Sommers, Mr. Gray joined a Bible studies group she started. He stood out by being the skeptic in the group, which impressed Ms. Sommers. “Forrest was so curious and nonjudgmental,” she said.
Still, Ms. Sommers found Mr. Gray’s outgoing, nonconformist personality somewhat frightening. “I saw myself as a very pious person and Forrest’s inner freedom made me excited and nervous,” she said. “I wanted to hear more.”
While dutifully wearing their berets, the two began meeting for long discussions about God, the afterlife, politics and whether they should become a couple. “I have an image of us just sitting on the lawn at U.S.C., talking,” Mr. Gray said. “We had a lot of talks about why each other versus anyone else.”
One answer: They make each other laugh. “We just riff constantly,” he said.
Eventually, they started dating and met each other’s families. When she visited his in the Hamptons, it took her awhile to adjust to the casualness. “Everyone can just grab food from the fridge,” she said. “Everyone is invited to the party. It’s a free-for-all.”
Likewise, he became accustomed to her sense of formality. “Abi has taught me a lot about grace and things that are sacred,” he said.
In 2019, they moved in together in Los Angeles. They compared their apartment to a snow globe. “It’s a place where our differences, such as they are, fade away,” Mr. Gray said.
Ms. Sommers is now an aspiring stand-up comedian and a freelance production coordinator who specializes in awards shows like “E! Live From the Red Carpet.” Mr. Gray is a composer of scores for movies and television, including the Apple TV series “The Morning Show,” where he worked as an additional composer for the last three seasons.
He proposed to Ms. Sommers last October while they were having a picnic in Ventura, Calif., casually handing her a pink sapphire ring on a cracker. “Are you serious?” she first said. Then: “Of course, my love.” They celebrated that night in a favorite hotel in Malibu, ordering takeout, watching the movie “The Wedding Singer” and playing cards in bed.
On Aug. 17, they were married in Rockville, Minn., outside the bride’s parents’ cabin on Grand Lake. Ms. Sommers was baptized in the lake and spent part of every summer there with her extended family. “There’s usually at least 20 people and almost as many dogs,” she said.
For the wedding, 70 guests stood on the beach and watched the couple arrive in a vintage wooden motorboat. They said their vows on the dock in a ceremony led by Mr. Gray’s brother, Theo Gray, who became an ordained minister through American Marriage Ministries for this event.
Afterward, there was a dinner in a tent outside the cabin — a love letter Mr. Gray wrote to Ms. Sommers in 2015 was printed on the napkins — and fireworks over the lake.
Ms. Sommers wore a dress she found while working in a bridal shop in Los Angeles shortly after moving in with Mr. Gray: a simple crepe dress with spaghetti straps deeply discounted at $400.
Carrying it into the apartment, she yelled to Mr. Gray, “No pressure!”
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