Nicole Marie Crowder, who is typically punctual, was late to her first date with Robert Michael Ballengee Jr. In her haste to meet up, she messaged that she was running behind on the Tinder app, where they initially met. But because they had exchanged phone numbers weeks prior, he didn’t think to check the app as he waited outside Spyhouse Coffee Roasters in Minneapolis.
Mr. Ballengee, who goes by Mike, had a rule: coffee or drinks for the first date as a less formal and more efficient way to explore a connection.
Ms. Crowder, an editor and upholstery designer, had moved back to Minnesota, where her family still lives, in December 2020 after living for 15 years in Washington. While she planned to move to Los Angeles the following year, she ultimately decided to stay close to family. In June 2021, she swiped right on Mr. Ballengee.
He waited 10 minutes, wondering if he was being stood up, but still he stuck around; Ms. Crowder arrived a few minutes later.
After two hours of chatting, it was clear they were hitting it off. Chief among their converging interest: film. They would learn later that they shared a love for the movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”
Ms. Crowder, 39, began hinting at grabbing a bite to eat during that first date, and Mr. Ballengee, 46, didn’t want the conversation to end. So he broke his rule and they strolled to Black Sheep, a pizzeria nearby.
One of the first questions she asked him was what his preferred interior decorating style was, “mostly out of nervousness,” Ms. Crowder said. That led to a conversation about art, hobbies they began during the pandemic — cooking for Mr. Ballengee; wine collecting for Ms. Crowder — and, Mr. Ballengee said, their shared experience as “army brats.”
Ms. Crowder, who was born in Nuremberg, Germany, and grew up in South Korea, Louisiana and Maryland, among other places. She graduated from Towson University in Maryland with a bachelor’s degree in English. She is the founder of Nicole Crowder Upholstery and the editor at large for Mpls.St.Paul Magazine, a home and design publication.
Mr. Ballengee had been settled in Minneapolis for 20 years after growing up in places like Alaska, Chicago and Germany. He currently works as a contact center manager at Securian Financial, an insurance company. A previous marriage ended in divorce.
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After the first date, the two were attached at the hip — and quick to discuss “vulnerabilities,” as Ms. Crowder put it. “I remember expressing to him that I had this fear of the other shoe falling off or that I would mess it up or lose it,” she said. He assured her that he wasn’t going anywhere. Two weeks after their first date, the two became official.
Mr. Ballengee met Ms. Crowder’s family for the first time for dinner at their home in November and was welcomed back shortly after for Thanksgiving. They moved in to an apartment in St. Paul, Minn., in August 2022.
Mr. Ballengee, who said he is not in contact with his immediate family, said it was nice to feel “accepted” by Ms. Crowder’s family. What he also loves about Ms. Crowder is that they are opposites — he considers himself an introvert while, he said, she “made friends wherever she went.”
He surprised Ms. Crowder with a proposal on Christmas Eve 2022, convincing her to open their presents early. A ring was her final gift. As they listened to the “A Charlie Brown Christmas” album on vinyl, they toasted their engagement, and later celebrated with Ms. Crowder’s family on Christmas Day.
In early 2024, Ms. Crowder was in and out of the hospital over several weeks with benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. The experience strengthened their relationship. “Having him to lean on was another big shift in seeing this person as a partner,” she said.
They married July 21 at the St. Paul College Club in St. Paul, with about 80 guests in attendance. The ceremony was officiated by Ms. Crowder’s uncle, Freddie O. Crowder, a pastor at the Place of a Second Chance Ministry in Stafford, Va.
Ms. Crowder’s father, Horace Crowder, walked her down the aisle to “Phone Call” by Jon Brion from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in a string arrangement by the Watercress Trio.
In their vows, which they wrote separately, both referenced the movie starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. They vowed in their marriage to always “meet in Montauk,” Mr. Ballengee said, a reference to the movie. “If anything ever happened later in life, we would always come back together.”
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