In Florence, Italy in the year 1348, the pestilence has run amok killing countless people, leaving them unsightly piles of flesh and boils. Sure, that sounds disgusting, but Netflix’s limited series The Decameron, is anything but. Based on Giovanni Boccaccio’s short story collection, the series follows a group of nobility and their servants as they shack up in a remote villa and wait out the plague ravaging the country.
(Warning: Spoilers ahead.)
While you’d be forgiven thinking The Decameron is a heavy drama, it’s instead a delightful comedy—and a very horny one at that. That’s fairly inevitable when a group of people, most of whom are single and ready to mingle, are stuck in one place with nowhere to go, and this group gets lustful awfully quick. Though everyone’s sexual interests and appetites vary, there’s one thing just about all of them can agree on: They desire Dioneo (Amar Chadha-Patel), an ultra-sexy doctor who is certain to be television’s sexiest new leading man.
When we first see Dioneo, you’re immediately struck by his long, flowing black hair—not dissimilar to a lion’s mane—resting on his broad shoulders. He’s busy tending to the rather helpless Tindaro (Douggie McMeekin), who can’t even get his tunic on right. Dioneo is forced to help him, as while being a doctor is a respectable career, it’s nothing compared to being a member of the nobility and the ruling classes. It’s hard to find him too appealing at this point, as he’s essentially Tindaro’s servant, checking his stool to make sure he’s healthy. It’s not the sort of thing that gets your heart racing.
When Dioneo, Tindaro, and others arrive at the villa, Dioneo’s staggering physique is revealed. Married couple Neifile (Lou Gala) and Panfilo (Karan Gill) converse about their arrangement of celibacy—Neifile is dedicated to god above all—but they’re both distracted by the sight of Dioneo in the garden undressing and preparing to bathe. Their conversation ends as Neifile says she’s going to ride a horse. Panfilo is more than happy to have her leave so he can ogle Dioneo himself, unaware that Neifile is going to do the exact same thing.
Framed like Neifile is Eve seeking out forbidden fruit, she stares at Dioneo’s body in amazement. That’s for good reason because the man is stacked like a brick house, with perfectly chiseled abdominals and bulging biceps. Chadha-Patel looks not unlike a 21st-century Fabio—or rather a 14th-century Fabio, as the show takes place in the 1300s. Dioneo is dripping with water, which has Neifile in a state of delirium, as she sits on a spinning wheel that has a seat that curves upwards, not unlike male genitalia. As she simulates masturbation while watching Dioneo, the camera cuts to Panfilo standing at the window, masturbating while also observing Dioneo’s physique.
Dioneo is not some wide-eyed innocent being gawked at—he’s fully aware of his sexual prowess. He’s so much more than a tremendous and unattainable physique, and Chadha-Patel plays up Dioneo’s mischievousness, almost like he’s a medieval fuckboy. In the villa, he’s set his eyes on Licisca (Tanya Reynolds), who’s disguised herself as Filomena, a member of the ruling class. At the end of Episode 2, their flirtations are taken to a new level when the two sleep together. As members of two different classes, Licisca knows her desire is strictly forbidden, but she can’t resist Dioneo’s charms: “I’ll hang for this,” she says, as she leaps into his exquisitely sculpted arms.
In Episode 3 of The Decameron, the villa’s—and Dioneo’s—horniness is at its peak. Licisca and Dioneo are locked in a passionate tryst, unable to keep their hands off of each other as they fornicate through each night. That’s a big problem in the villa—not only do their different classes prevent them from being together, but Dioneo works for Tindaro, who himself is in love with Licisca.
Still, Licisca and Dioneo’s time together is passionate and surprisingly tender. Dioneo speaks slowly and patiently and never interrupts Licisca when she speaks. For Licisca, he’s a seriously sexy lover, but also a man who seems genuinely invested in her wellbeing, carefully taking in each word she says and responding. Chadha-Patel does great work in these scenes, and you can feel the conflict play in his eyes: He knows he can never be with Licisca, but that can’t stop him from developing feelings for her. “You are a vision,” Dioneo tells her, and you can feel the conviction in Chadha-Patel’s voice. The words are no pick-up line, but an earnest confession of his love for her.
The Decameron plays up Dioneo’s outlandish sex appeal at every turn. A pivotal moment in Episode 3 is a montage, played to “All You Ever Think About is Sex,” by Sparks. As you’ve likely guessed, it’s a sequence of everyone in the villa getting it on. Wickedly, the scene cuts from Dioneo and Licisca in the throws of passion to Neifile watching Dioneo, overcome by her arousal for him. Nobody can resist Dioneo, and with the charm Chadha-Patel brings to the character, how could you?
Dioneo isn’t perfect. (How boring would that be?). When he realizes Tindaro intends to marry Licisca, he uses his medical knowledge to poison Tindaro. That said, his know-how isn’t all that impressive—I guess being in the 1300s means there’s plenty of room for medical advancements—and he doesn’t succeed in killing Tindaro. In a panic, he goes to Licisca and begs her to run away with him, confessing his undying love to her. Even though he’s just tried to kill someone, Chadha-Patel delivers the moment with such earnestness you almost believe Licisca should run off into the plague-ridden world for another day with Dioneo.
Though Dioneo ultimately fails his conquest of Licisca, his character, and Chadha-Patel’s performance, are impossible to ignore. The importance of class may win out in The Decameron, but Chadha-Patel’s unbridled charisma, charm, and extraordinary physicality will live forever.
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