A millennial woman who has spent 13 years living alone has shared the five things she does to avoid loneliness, and her advice has gone viral on social media.
Kayla Kleinman, 34, lives by herself in New York City and works remote full-time, so it is all too easy to isolate herself and disconnect from the outside world. However, at the beginning of 2023, she started to make a real effort to ensure she socialized regularly to fend off the loneliness she had been feeling.
While Kleinman certainly loves her alone time and having her own space, she told Newsweek that it became noticeable how much better she felt on the days when she made an effort to connect with others. Whether it was going out for dinner or just grabbing a coffee and chatting to someone in the queue, it impacted her greatly.
Since then, Kleinman has developed five key things that she does to “feel less lonely” in her thirties. Those include taking a group fitness class each morning before work; joining a gym that is focused on community; hosting a book club; showing up to everything she says yes to; and cherishing her alone time to make it feel “special and luxurious.”
Kleinman said: “I started being more proactive about reaching out to make plans, and I made a commitment to start off every workday by taking a group fitness class. I go to the barre studio where I know a lot of people and joined a new gym that’s focused on community.
“If I haven’t seen a friend in a while, I will reach out to make a plan, even if it’s not for another month. I’ve tried to be better about saying yes to things. I used to get really nervous attending influencer events, but I’ve met so many amazing people at them.”
All five of the tips have been hugely beneficial to Kleinman, but she says that doing a fitness class with other people each morning has had the biggest impact. Each day offers the chance to have a conversation with someone else, even if it’s brief, and sometimes even grab a coffee afterward.
“It didn’t happen overnight, and there are still moments of loneliness because that’s life, but now I feel like I have these lovely communities in different corners of my life,” Kleinman said.
“I think being a regular somewhere or joining a community is a great way to meet new people. Be patient; you’re probably not going to become best friends on day one, but sometimes you’ll be surprised of how close you end up getting and how that can become a long-standing friendship,” Kleinman added.
The 34-year-old shared her advice in an Instagram Reel (@kaylakleinman) on June 1, and it has already been viewed over 2.1 million times and gained more than 20,000 likes.
Kleinman has been amazed by the response to her post on social media, but it has made her aware of just how many people are feeling the same way she did.
Aside from socializing and getting herself out of her home, Kleinman also suggests reframing the way people spending time alone. Rather than dreading it or feeling lost, she encourages them to cherish it and do something that makes them happy instead.
“The feedback has been great, and, judging from the engagement the post has got, it’s clearly resonated with many people,” Kleinman told Newsweek. “So many people are feeling this way; there is such a hunger for community. If you’re feeling like this, you’re definitely not alone.
“Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. There are still weekends when I’m just chilling solo, and I love those weekends now because I romanticize them,” Kleinman said. “I focus on how I can have a special day doing the things I love, like going on a long walk, reading in the bath, and walking around a bookstore.”
Many Instagram users praised Kleinman for offering her advice and being so honest about feeling lonely. One comment reads: “Yes! I’ve been struggling with finding a community and I’ve recently joined a new church so I’m hoping to find new friends there.”
Another person responded: “Such a great idea to do group fitness classes in the morning!”
A third Instagram user wrote: “OMG [Oh my God] I needed this. I had the most lonely year, working remote and I’m starting a new remote job and need to change things!”
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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