If you had asked me in high school where the most interesting people live, I would have had an immediate answer: the city.
Namely, Los Angeles, New York, or maybe Chicago — the opposite of my extremely rural, 300-person hometown in eastern Washington state. So, as soon as I graduated, I moved to LA, in search of the exciting future that I was sure awaited me there.
And I found it. In LA, I built a career in the film industry, made lifelong bonds with brilliant, creative people, and had the kinds of eye-opening, foundational experiences that I felt like only a major city could give me.
A decade into my LA life, though, I started to tire of the soul-numbing commutes, the lack of open space, and what had started to feel like a Groundhog Day social life, in which I tended to visit the same bars, restaurants, and coffee shops day after day.
I hoped that moving to New York with my partner in 2020 would be the refresh I needed, but then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and I only found myself more overwhelmed and stressed as I learned to navigate a new city.
The final straw came when our landlord significantly raised our rent, effectively forcing us out.
After getting priced out of our New York City apartment, we received a lifeline
One day, my sister-in-law sent me a Facebook message asking me if we would consider moving into a house they owned in the Seattle area.
Their tenants were moving out, and the rent for the four-bedroom house would be much lower than what we paid for our New York apartment.
It sounded wonderful: an affordable, stable housing situation in the same state as my parents. There would be room for family and friends to visit, plenty of mountains for hiking, good schools for the kids we wanted to eventually have, and a backyard with a garden patch.
The only problem? It was in the suburbs.
To me, the ‘burbs had always seemed like the worst of all possible worlds, the kind of place I associated with big-box stores and teen angst.
I wondered: Would the identity I had built for myself in the big city survive a move there? Would the suburbs make me boring?
Suburban life took me by surprise
Now, it’s been two years, and not only did the suburbs not make me boring, but living here has actually allowed me to become a more interesting version of myself.
In New York and LA, my finger was always on the pulse. This was a thrilling aspect of city life, but it also meant that I was constantly running to keep up with the movies, TV shows, bands, new bars and restaurants, books, and cultural events that everyone around me was talking about, or that I saw pop up on billboards or subway ads.
My new town is more outdoorsy, and I feel a bit more disconnected from pop-culture trends. Conversations I have with friends and neighbors are more likely to revolve around the best places to go camping or mushroom foraging than the frontrunners in the Oscars race, or Doechii’s phenomenal Tiny Desk performance.
I had worried that this might make me feel out of touch, but it’s actually encouraged me to take a step back and consider more carefully how I want to spend my time.
Instead of bingeing the latest shows, my partner and I started watching ’70s films on an old projector my dad gave us. Rather than going out to new bars, I’ve been taking weaving lessons with a lovely group of women at a nearby senior center, who also give me gardening tips.
I have more time to read, and less desire to check Instagram.
Slowing down has helped me build relationships and focus on new passions
I no longer have easy access to nightclubs, shows every night of the week, or TikTok-famous restaurants, but with fewer social options and activities competing for my attention, I can commit more fully to the ones I choose.
In New York, I’d been studying Spanish online for years, but I could never seem to find time to practice speaking. When I moved, however, I immediately found a Spanish conversation group that meets at a brewery near my house. I started attending every week, and quickly became absorbed in a vibrant, tight-knit community.
I will always be grateful to LA and New York and the experiences they gave me, but my new home has allowed me to discover who I am outside the noise, distractions, glamour, and mania of city life.
Paradoxically, my life has become fuller with less in it. This quieter, calmer version of myself likes to read, stay off social media, learn new languages, grow vegetables, do fiber arts, and stay up late watching Robert Altman movies. It’s far from boring.
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