This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bo and Emily Petterson, of Dad Advice From Bo. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Parents aren’t supposed to have a favorite child, but there’s no secret that Emily has always been mine. She’s the second youngest of my six children. She’s been the boss of our household since she was 3. She was the type of child who you’d look at and think, “This kid is going places.”
Emily got a scholarship to college. Then, in 2009, she was playing soccer when she and another player both jumped to head the ball and collided. From that moment, Emily’s life changed forever.
At the time, my wife and I had a “shake it off” mentality. No one was talking about concussions back then.
We were horrified as we slowly watched Emily’s life fall apart. Today, Emily describes her injury as being seasick 24/7. When Emily has a bad spell, she stays near the toilet, vomiting for days. There’s nothing I can do except hold her.
I never wanted to be a TikTok star
In the years since Emily’s injury, her world got smaller and smaller. First, she lost control of her body, then she lost her friends, her social life, and her ability to work. By 2020, she’d also lost hope. Emily was severely depressed, and her mother and I were worried.
Emily had mentioned making videos with me, but I had always brushed her off. I’m not the type of person who wants to put himself out there. I didn’t even know what TikTok was at the time. But I could see that Emily was desperate to have something positive in her life. So, one day when she asked, I reluctantly agreed.
Emily prompted me to give Dad advice. I thought about the things my own father had taught me and settled on a simple tip: how to back up a trailer. Emily posted the video, and the next day we were amazed by how many people had seen it. As we made more videos, I could see that our channel was pulling Emily out of the depths of despair.
I enjoy hearing about the real impact my advice has
Usually, our videos are based on something I’m already doing around our home and land. I’m shy, so I try not to think about the fact that millions of people watch me — I just speak like I’m talking to my own kids.
I love seeing the comments and messages our audience sends. One woman messaged to say that when her dishwasher sprang a leak, her husband was running around trying to figure out how to turn off the water. The woman remembered I’d posted about just that, and she saved the day.
Another time, I encouraged viewers to pick up the phone and call their fathers. I’d be thinking about my own dad, and the conversations we’d had during his final years. A bit later, a viewer messaged us to say that she had reconnected with her estranged father because of that video.
The channel has helped Emily access treatment and community
A good dad is always there for his family, but he’s not perfect. I’ve always been clear about that with my kids, and I make a point of saying it on social media. I make mistakes. As a parent, you’re going to mess up millions of times. The best you can do is always try to make the next right decision.
I made a mistake with how I initially responded to Emily’s injury. But deciding to get onto social media with her was definitely the right decision. We have so much fun together making videos. We often laugh until we’re on our knees. It’s been amazing to have this much time with my daughter.
It’s also helped Emily directly. When we started, she didn’t know anyone else with a traumatic brain injury. Now, she has a network. Because of funds and connections on social media, Emily has had access to new treatments. We started making content because we were desperate. Now, because of everything that content has given us, we have hope.
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