Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Retreaty of Versailles’
President Trump signed a memorandum of understanding between the United States and Iran at the Palace of Versailles on Wednesday.
Jimmy Kimmel called it a “dummy of a deal” on Thursday.
“The deal is Iran gets billions of dollars, and then we’ll talk about a deal. It’s a deal to make a deal. It’s hosted by Howie Mandel. It’s going to be terrific. — JIMMY KIMMEL
“They still haven’t even gotten into the details of the nuclear stuff, which is interesting. Because three months ago, Trump wrote, ‘No deal with Iran except unconditional surrender!’ Little did we know, he meant it was ours.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So, basically, we go back to where we were before the war, except Iran gets $400 billion. And to add insult to injury, the ayatollah is using all that cash to build himself a sweet-ass ballroom.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“The first week of the war alone cost $11 billion, and that was back in March. That’s almost as much as it’s going to cost to rebuild New York after the Knicks parade.” — SETH MEYERS
“So, we spent a billion dollar on bombs and it didn’t even accomplish anything? That’s bad. That’s not something you should say out loud. That’s like Hannibal Lecter saying, ‘Yeah, I ate two guys, but they didn’t even taste good.’” — SETH MEYERS
“So in the end, after all of this, Trump’s answer to the question ‘Who did you go to war with?’ and ‘How did it end?’ will be the same answer: ‘Iran.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Knicks on Parade Edition)
“New York City held a victory parade this morning to celebrate the Knicks’ NBA championship. And even though he was surrounded by millions of people, all with their hands in the air, Jalen Brunson still managed to score.” — SETH MEYERS
“The owner of the Knicks, James Dolan, yesterday said the team will accept an invitation to visit the White House. So the players can officially hand their trophy over to the president in person.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Johnny Knoxville discussed “Jackass: Best and Last” with Jordan Klepper on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The pop star Hayley Kiyoko turned her hit single and best-selling book “Girls Like Girl” into a coming-of-age romance in theaters now.
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