I am a single mom to two pretty cool kids. Together, we are a tight-knit unit.
That’s why when my son got into college, which was only two hours away, I was a mess. I was thrilled for him, but at the same time, I was completely broken knowing he was going to move away.
The first year at college was an adjustment period for both of us. I had to get used to not having him around the house or at the dinner table, and the house was suddenly a lot quieter. But for him, he now had his own life at school.
Freshman year flew by, and thankfully, we had lots of visits. I saw him at least once a month, and then the holidays were long, awesome stretches of having him home.
But now, as his first year is coming to an end, I am starting to feel nervous about having him back home for the summer.
The biggest thing I worry about is how he will adapt to being back home
There are still rules at home, but there were none at school. I will have to enforce the boundaries under my roof, even though he has essentially been free for the past nine months.
First of all, at school, all he needed to do was pass his classes. At home, the list of rules is long. The first thing we will need to reestablish is that he cannot come and go at all hours of the night, as he pleases. I can’t really use the word “curfew,” but essentially that will be in place. At school, no one was checking in to see when he would come home or who he would come home with.
Also, at home, he needs to keep his room clean, while his dorm room was a breeding ground for new species. On that note, there was also a communal bathroom on his floor, so everyone only took their toiletries with them when they needed to shower or get ready. At home, he has his own bathroom, and I expect him to clean up after himself.
I am not looking forward to his relationships with girls while at home
While he was away at school, I had no idea what his dating life looked like — or if he even had one. I don’t know who the young ladies accompanying him were or what they were doing.
But this summer, there will be strict rules around dating.
Under my roof, it will only be him in his room, and he will need to sleep in his own bed — every night.
I need to be respected, and these are the rules he needs to follow.
I also feel anxious about him being happy to be home
Since these rules will be in effect, I find myself nervous about how he will adjust to his former life when our lives at home stay the same.
It’s not all doom and gloom. The one thing I realized is that some of the rules I implemented at home, he himself followed at school.
He would sometimes call me and even say, “Hey, Mom, you would be proud of me; I did this.” The truth is, I was proud of him, and the rules were a part of his independence.
So, for the parents who are anxious about having their freshmen return home, take a deep breath and remember, this is still your house, and they should be happy to be home, rules included.
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