Donald Trump’s most amusing habit is meting out casual abuse to his sycophants. His recent answer to a question about the wedding of Donald Trump Jr. may, depending on how deserving one deems Trump’s eldest son of mistreatment—poor Don Jr. was, after all, born into the Trump life—qualify as his most hilarious riff ever.
The scene is the Oval Office, today, midday. Trump is asked by a reporter whether he plans to attend Don Jr.’s wedding to the Palm Beach socialite Bettina Anderson this weekend. Here is the president’s full response:
Uh, he’d like me to go, but it’s gonna be just a small, little, private affair, and I’m gonna try and make it. I’m in the midst—I said, “You know, this is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things.” Uh, that’s one I can’t win on. If I do attend, I get killed. If I don’t attend, I get killed by the fake news, of course, I’m talking about. No, but he’s, uh, got a very, uh, person who I’ve known for a long time, and hopefully they’re going to have a great marriage.
Now let us analyze.
[Jonathan Chait: Big Brother is ReTruthing you]
Trump immediately confides that his son wants him to attend the ceremony, but he will not commit at this point, even though the wedding is just a few days away. He first floats the explanation that it will be “just a small, little, private affair,” as if there may not be space in the party for him, the father of the groom—who, we have already established, wants him to attend.
Trump then pivots to a new excuse: He is waging war with Iran. This conflict, although serious, has not prevented the president from engaging in activities such as marathon social-media-posting sessions, regular golf outings, and an event two weeks ago to promote a future UFC bout at the White House. (“It’s going to be the biggest event we ever had,” Trump told reporters at the time. “The White House doesn’t really do athletic events for the most part.”) Well, a White House cage fight comes along only once in a lifetime, but the tally for Don Jr.’s weddings is about to tick up to two and comes with the beckoning prospect for future such occasions, given the groom’s comparative youth and family history.
The most morbidly hilarious section of Trump’s response was his explanation that he might stay away from the ceremony for fear that he would attract negative publicity from the “fake news.” This is, to begin with, obviously untrue. Although reporters might question many of Trump’s activities for violating the line between personal interest and official duties, attending the wedding of his child is not one of those.
What’s more, the idea that Trump would refrain from doing anything at all for fear of blowback from the “fake news” is belied by roughly every choice he has made in his political life. Just this week, he fearlessly created a taxpayer-financed slush fund for his supporters and pointedly refused to rule out giving money from it to cop-beating insurrectionists, and then made the IRS agree not to audit his taxes. Imagine creating a new standard of hypersensitive caution about attracting even the most persnickety media criticism, and then applying it for the first time to your son’s wedding.
Most absurd of all is the notion that Trump specifically worries about being seen as indulging in frivolity during wartime. He has spent much of the duration of the Iran war relentlessly campaigning on behalf of a proposed lavish new White House ballroom, and has even walked visitors and media through the tedious details of his design choices. He has expanded this campaign to demand a new triumphal arch in Washington, D.C. At the moment when Trump was explaining his reluctance to attend the wedding, the Fox News chyron describing Trump’s remarks read TRUMP: TRIUMPHAL ARCH WILL BE BEAUTIFUL.
[Jonathan Chait: Trump’s $1.8 billion slush fund is worse than stealing]
This does not sound like the behavior of a man who is so paranoid about being seen as distracted from his war duties that he cannot take a few hours to attend his son’s wedding. It sounds more like the thought process of a man who, according to his first wife’s memoir, initially responded to the notion of naming his son Donald by saying, “You can’t do that! What if he’s a loser?”
The unstated possibility that Trump might skip this edition of Don Jr.’s nuptials and catch the next one is suggested by his qualified assessment of the prospects for marriage No. 2 (“Hopefully they’re going to have a great marriage”). The same hesitation comes through in his underwhelming summation of the bride: “He’s, uh, got a very, uh, person who I’ve known for a long time.” This description notably failed to cite any positive qualities of his future daughter-in-law—unless you count knowing Donald Trump as a compliment—or even mention her name.
To be fair, Trump has been more effusive in private, though only slightly. According to a “political source” who spoke to People magazine, “The president is happy with the way Bettina looks, and wants his son to be satisfied in his next mate.” If either of these comments previews the tenor of the president’s wedding toast, Don Jr. might be better off if his father skips the event.
The post The Strangest Thing Donald Trump Has Said in Some Time appeared first on The Atlantic.
