Growing up outside Boston, I loved the city’s arts and culture scene.
Spending weekends in bookstores and thrift shops, hunting for unique vintage clothes, made me feel cosmopolitan — worlds away from my homogenous suburb. As a queer kid, that was a lifeline.
In fact, I loved this energy so much that I eventually decided to move to big cities like New York and San Francisco, before settling closer to the heart of Boston.
However, the older I got, the more I started to see things differently. Between the high cost of living and Boston’s aggressive drivers, I found myself becoming increasingly anxious and burned out by my life there.
So, 11 years ago, my partner and I decided to move to a smaller city in New York’s Hudson Valley, near where I went to college, for a lower cost of living and peace of mind.
And although there are things I miss about living in the Boston area, my life has improved in a number of ways since I moved to upstate New York.
I love the lower cost of living and our proximity to nature
Having lived in and around several major cities, I was pleasantly surprised at how much further my dollar stretched once we moved to upstate New York.
After all, being in a highly populated city like Boston often meant paying a premium for just about everything from groceries to nights out with friends.
For example, when we first moved to the Hudson Valley, my partner and I rented a three-bedroom house, and about six months later, decided to buy a home.
Now, our mortgage costs less than the share of rent we used to split with a roommate in the Boston area.
But our cost of living isn’t the only perk to life in upstate New York. I’ve also fallen in love with the slower pace of life that comes with living in a less-populated area.
Now, instead of taking walks down loud, busy streets when I want to clear my mind, I’m able to hike a different scenic trail every week with no repeats.
With more physical activity and fewer external stressors — like long commutes and aggressive drivers — I feel much more relaxed.
Although I miss things about my old home, I’m happy here
Of course, there are some perks of living in the Boston area that can’t quite be recreated upstate.
For example, I miss Boston’s varied food scene with cuisines from all over the world. Here in the Hudson Valley, American staples like burgers, pizza, and chicken wings are in heavy rotation.
Since I’m a vegetarian, and my partner is gluten-free, finding food we can enjoy when dining out is a constant challenge.
We’ve also found that it’s been more difficult to make — and keep — friends here in a smaller city. In Boston, my partner and I each had established friend groups, composed of people we’d known for years. We went to house parties, potluck dinners, and queer clubs.
Unfortunately, many of our favorite Hudson Valley queer spaces closed during the COVID-19 pandemic, which has made building a community more difficult. Plus, some of the friends I made moved away, and others drifted apart.
For an introvert like me, socializing takes extra effort, and the rewards are hit-or-miss. Still, I keep putting myself out there.
Even though I miss aspects of my life in the Boston area, moving to upstate New York has overwhelmingly been the right decision for me, and I have no regrets.
Plus, the lower cost of living means I can dedicate more money to my favorite hobby — traveling. And when I miss the pace of city life, I can simply hop on a plane.
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