Two years ago, I joined a running club in order to expand my social circle. I have tried clubs in major cities like London, Barcelona, and Lisbon. What began as a simple fitness trend has morphed into a new kind of dating scene; running clubs often double as low-pressure alternatives to apps, where attraction builds through repeated, in-person encounters.
Even though I have made amazing friends from running clubs, exchanging pizza and wine at house parties, the dating aspect of it has become a problem. It’s clear everyone is here for only one goal: women are whispering about who their type is, while the men are hitting on the newest girl to join the club.
But beneath the promise of organic connection, these communities often reproduce the same dynamics as online dating: ghosting, disposability and romantic churn.
My friend went on a date a few months ago with someone from the running club in Lisbon. The guy had originally asked her out during the post run coffee meet-up. He ghosted her and asked out another girl from the running club, and now they are a couple. It’s an awkward situation for my friend.
Similarly, other friends of mine have had to change running clubs in order to avoid running into their ex situationships. Even after flirty exchanges with other runners, I’ve personally never witnessed a serious relationship blossom and have only been ghosted.
Dating in a running club can ruin the group dynamics; I have seen strong friend groups split in two because of a breakup. There is often so much romantic drama going on in these clubs that it feels like a reality TV show.
Running clubs are becoming modern social ecosystems, singles mixers disguised as cardio. Unlike algorithm-driven dating, attraction is measured during post-run coffees in sweaty outfits and repeated encounters that mimic how our ancestors historically met partners.
But while many singles flock to hobby-based spaces, I wonder if these spaces truly offer a better path to meaningful relationships or simply repackage the same frustrations.
To understand why singles are migrating toward activity-based communities and the emotional ambiguity people are trying to escape from when it comes to online dating, I reached out to Sana Khwaja, a therapist from BetterHelp, the world’s largest online therapy platform.
“Dating within a community like a running club can be lovely, but it does blur lines in ways that can get emotionally complicated if not dealt with properly,” Khwaja said. It’s healthy to be intentional from the start. “That means checking in with yourself before pursuing something, asking yourself: Am I genuinely interested, or am I getting swept up in the closeness of the group?”
My friends and I are cautious now when someone from our running club asks us out on a date. One friend told me that she has sworn that she will never date anyone from a running club ever again after she realized her partner was sleeping with multiple people from the running club while pretending to be exclusive with her only.
Khwaja encourages runners to set clear boundaries around dating such that “the progression of the relationship will be separate to the progression of the group. If things get awkward, you won’t let this stop you from attending events,” she said. “It’s about protecting and keeping the community stable rather than letting it become collateral damage.”
I also reached out to Shoshanna Raven, life coach and founder of Living Brave, a global personal development platform focused on self-trust and modern leadership. “A lot of people think, ‘Dating apps are the problem. I’ll join a run club and a community.’ But if your subconscious patterning, attachment dynamics, and emotional habits are still intact, you can end up recreating the same relational experience in a different setting,” she said.
I personally don’t mind that running clubs have become the new dating app. I do have an issue with the fact that everything I hate about dating apps now plays out live physically in front of me.
I hate that my friend from the running club was asked out by the same guy who took my number the week before. I hate feeling jealous seeing my crush talking to someone new and questioning my self-worth.
It’s human nature to fall for people who we see repeatedly in the same communal spaces. But the difference now is the low-investment mindset that people bring into these spaces. That should have all of us running in the opposite direction.
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