Throughout childhood, many of us experience that ever-so-present levity and zest for life. Children tend to see everything through a curious lens, awestruck by the little things. But over time, as we learn more about the world and our responsibilities in it, we often lose touch with that lighthearted, spirited nature.
“As we get older, several things happen. We have hindsight. We have clarity. We recognize that we are more fragile physically and sometimes emotionally,” says Blythe Landry, LCSW, M.Ed., grief, trauma, and relationship therapist and coach. “We feel like we ‘should be an adult by now,’ yet so many of us feel like we haven’t met the mark. And [either] our anxiety increases, or we have anxiety where we once did not.”
Unfortunately, this leaves many of us feeling disconnected and apathetic. We no longer look forward to the future or seek delight in the present. But according to Landry, with positivity and intentionality, we can cultivate that same youthful joy we once had.
Here are three tips for getting excited about life again—well into adulthood and beyond.
1. Ask Yourself What’s Going Right, Not Wrong
It’s so easy to dwell on everything that’s going wrong in life, but rarely do we shift perspectives and acknowledge what’s going right.
“Maybe you don’t have financial stability, but you have your health,” Landry offers. “Maybe you don’t have a partner, but you have a tremendous family or set of friends. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion yet, but you have the most supportive team.”
Of course, this doesn’t mean bypassing your grief with toxic positivity. Rather, it’s emphasizing the good things while accepting, but not obsessing over, the negative.
“Looking for what is working is not intended to minimize the grief of what isn’t, but it is intended to get your focus on the truth,” she says. “And the truth almost always offers at least a few things that are working in your favor.”
This also means expressing gratitude for your own life and path rather than wishing for someone else’s.
“Instead of feeling jealous or angry that others may be on an upswing at the moment, looking for what is working in their lives can shift the energy and even provide hope that perhaps that could be in your future too,” Landry says.
2. Spend More Time With Children or Animals
Children and animals are incredibly powerful healers, showing us a different perspective than we might otherwise consider. They can help us feel in tune with our younger selves and the free spirit within us.
“They live in the moment,” says Landry. “They don’t overthink life. And they provide levity and focus on what is rather than what is not.”
I think we all can learn a thing or two from them.
3. Create an Exciting To-Do List
As someone who loves making lists and completing tasks, this tip is my personal favorite.
“Make a list of things you used to love and commit to doing them regardless of how you feel,” says Landry. “We cannot think our way into a new life, but we can act our way into it.”
The post Why Life Feels Less Exciting as You Get Older (And How to Change That) appeared first on VICE.
