Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Pettysburg Address’
Ahead of Tuesday’s midterm elections, President Trump made his “closing argument” on Monday in front of what Jimmy Kimmel called “his ill-fated reflecting pool.”
“And where better to reassure the public that they are in good hands than in front of a pool you’ve repeatedly botched to the tune of $16 million?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He spoke for about an hour in front of the Lincoln Reflecting Pool. Many are calling it his ‘Pettysburg Address.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Donald Trump, the man who famously promised to drain the swamp, made his last stand at the site of his own man-made swamp, standing victoriously in front of this hard-won pond, like the soldiers who triumphed at Iwo Jima.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I don’t know, maybe they’ll give him a Nobel ‘Piece of Pool’ Prize.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, after Trump referred to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool as a “massive piece of pool”
“That was the president of the United States, on the day before the midterms, choosing to make a speech at the Reflecting Pool to talk about the Reflecting Pool.” — JON STEWART
“No symbolism. No metaphors. Just straight-up pool maintenance.” — JON STEWART
“That was Donald Trump’s ‘I had it cleaned’ speech, if you will.” — JON STEWART
“The next couple of days will determine the future of our health care, our economy and the state of our reflecting pools.” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (Mr. Veto Edition)
“And get this. Today, Trump made his final rally speech before the midterms at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. He also considered speaking in front of the half-built ballroom, a closed Kennedy Center and the Strait of Hormuz, but this was more convenient.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Only 60 people showed up for Trump’s speech at the Reflecting Pool. Yeah. At one point he was begging vandals to show up.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Sixty people? That’s not a rally. That’s a spin class.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Meanwhile, with the blue wave looking more and more likely, Trump said that he will become Mr. Veto if Democrats take control of Congress. Mr. Veto sounds like the guy he got to fix the Reflecting Pool.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Bill Maher responded to Trump’s recent ranting about him on Friday’s “Real Time.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The Korean American author Min Jin Lee will discuss her new novel, “American Hagwon” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Cleveland’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame will receive a $195 million expansion featuring a new entry plaza, an amphitheater and a 40-foot wall of glass.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Mocks the President’s ‘Pettysburg Address’ appeared first on New York Times.
