Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Cheap Dates
President Trump encouraged rally attendees in Texas on Tuesday to spend their promised $5,000 dividend checks at Mar-a-Lago before he backtracked the invite, according to CNBC.
“The problem is for $5,000, the most you’ll be able to buy is a hamburger and maybe a small dessert,” Trump said. “I’m not even sure you could buy that.”
On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel wondered why Trump was “saying this out loud,” calling Mar-a-Lago the president’s “members-only mausoleum.”
“Why are you telling these people who gathered to see you in their Chinese-made, American-flag, Hawaiian shirts that they can’t afford to eat at your house? How is that helping you? ‘Me and my friends are so rich, you could never eat with us. Hell, you probably couldn’t even afford to park the car.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He’s completely out of touch. And that’s probably for the best. When he is in touch, it’s usually without consent.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“For a man who is very proud of the fact that he personally picked out all the marble in the White House, he really seems to be losing his.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[imitating Trump] ‘Don’t go to Mar-a-Lago if you’re price-conscious. I’ll be dining with the oil and gas C.E.O.s who are making a fortune. You should go behind Mar-a-Lago by the trash bins. It’s where we throw out the gristle and fat from our high-end steaks.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Butt of the Joke Edition)
“You’ve literally spent more time talking about [expletive] than Juvenile does in the song ‘Back That [expletive] Up.’ Seriously, we clocked it. Sir, who is you playing with?” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Actually, last night at a different rally in Texas, Trump once again brought up how much time he has been spending studying Ohio senator Jon Husted’s butt. ‘Studying.’ Now I’m picturing Trump sitting up at night with flash cards of butts. He’s like, ‘[imitating Trump] OK, Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian. Jon Husted.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Meanwhile, earlier tonight, Trump held another rally in Ohio to campaign for Jon Husted. It was a great rally. Trump spent an hour pretending to drop things so Husted would have to pick them up.” — JIMMY FALLON
“See, stop making it weird, media. He studied his [expletive] to see where the power came from. It’s not gay. He just wanted to see if he was a power bottom. Move on!” — JORDAN KLEPPER
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon and Jamie Lee Curtis spoofed Nathan Fielder and Elizabeth Holmes in “You Can See Everything” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The actor Tracy Letts will promote his new film, “I Play Rocky,” and the Netflix series, “East of Eden,” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
“Closure” is a gorgeous and devastating documentary following a father in Poland obsessively looking for his missing son.
The post Late Night Teases Trump Over His Invite to Mar-a-Lago appeared first on New York Times.
