Dating has always involved some guessing. Lately, though, the guessing feels like the whole thing.
In Body+Soul’s 2026 Sex Census, mixed signals topped Australians’ list of modern dating frustrations at 55%, ahead of ghosting at 37% and unclear intentions at 35%. And anyone who’s dated recently probably knows the routine. You have a great first date, get a sweet text afterward, and then hear absolutely nothing for days. Meanwhile, this person somehow finds time to watch every single one of your Instagram Stories.
Psychiatrist Amir Levine, co-author of Attached, thinks we should stop calling these situations mixed signals. “Instead of calling it mixed signals, really, what it is, is uncertainty,” he told Body+Soul. And the longer you’re left wondering where you stand, the more time you can end up spending thinking about someone you barely know.
There’s actually research behind that. In a study published in Psychological Science, researchers showed 47 college women Facebook profiles of men who supposedly had rated their attractiveness. Some were told the men liked them a lot, while others weren’t sure how interested the men were. The women who didn’t know where they stood reported the most attraction and spent the most time thinking about the men. Granted, that’s a small study, but anyone who’s checked their phone 40 times waiting for a text can relate.
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone Who Sends Mixed Signals
Levine’s advice is to ask for what you want early on and pay attention to the response. If you’ve had a good date, tell the person you’d like to see them again and suggest making plans. You can even say you prefer knowing when you’re going to see someone instead of spending the week guessing.
And then see what they do. Someone who wants to see you can make plans or suggest a better night. If you keep getting vague answers and excuses, consider what you want before you waste another weekend waiting for a text.
You should think about your own habits, too. Levine recommends mentioning consistency in your dating profile if that’s important to you. And if you’ve lost interest in someone, politely tell them. No one enjoys sending a rejection text, but the person on the receiving end deserves to know.
If someone can’t give you a straight answer about getting dinner next week, imagine trying to make actual life plans with them.
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