Look at the Republican Senate map this fall, and you’ll notice a hideous-looking and acting pattern. No, not Donald Trump, but the GOP’s Senate candidates.
What is also wonderfully hideous is Trump’s approval rating, which sits around 30 percent in the latest poll, and the candidates who most want to stand next to him are the ones who spent years making themselves look nasty to do it.
They are a horrendous bunch of middle-to-late-aged fools. Meet the Rock Salt Caucus. This upcoming winter, as we drive through the snow and hear that unmistakable crunch beneath our tires, we will inevitably be reminded of the 2026 midterms — and Susan Collins’s indelible line.
The Rock Salt Caucus consists of Roger Marshall. Mike Collins. Ken Paxton. Jon Husted. Mike Rogers. Susan Collins. Damn, what an atrocious lineup of subhuman beings. They spent the last few years deferring to an 80-year-old man who has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. As a result, they are nothing more than cheap, foolish, and pathetic knockoffs of Trump.
Don’t be fooled by Trump’s lascivious ogling of Husted’s body and physique. He, along with the rest, is as unappealing as the man they froth over
These deranged candidates defended his corruption. They mostly supported the “big, ugly bill,” with Collins voting no because she had her meaningless “concerns” — and after voicing them, did nothing to stop the bill or speak out against it.
They tiptoe around the question of who won the 2020 election because answering honestly might earn them a mean Truth Social post. What a bunch of cowards.
If your hero has no redeeming qualities, it’s fair to ask what that says about you.
And now, with the polls cratering, some of them have discovered doubts about Trump. Well, of course they have, because they want to save their sorry selves from getting kicked to the losers’ curb.
Americans knew in March that the Iran war was a bad idea. The public said so loudly, and most of these senators said nothing. Now that the politics have turned, a few have begun to murmur reservations. Still, not one of them has screamed at the top of their lungs that Trump should stop the war immediately
Speaking of stopping, Kansas needs to stop the greedy quack Roger Marshall, an OB/GYN who delivered babies for a living. He’s being sued by more than 700 patients over outstanding medical bills, with interest as high as 18 percent. He doesn’t give a damn about your babies, your life, or your hardships. He just wants your money so he can cling to power.
He makes Dr. Saperstein from Rosemary’s Baby look like a midwife.
And doesn’t Ken Paxton look like a midden? Even Trump makes fun of this guy’s appearance. Paxton is grotesque in every way a person can be. As The Wall Street Journal reported recently, Paxton celebrated New Year’s Eve in Dubai on a luxury high-rise balcony alongside his girlfriend and two U.S. fugitives who are facing federal healthcare fraud charges. What a pig!
Let’s be honest. Georgia’s Mike Collins is not nice — not at all. He faces numerous allegations tied to white nationalist and antisemitic content, along with House ethics inquiries. Asked on a debate stage whether Trump lost the 2020 election, he wouldn’t say so. What a gutless bigot.
On Wednesday, I’ll be watching the head of Michigan’s GOP’s Mike Rogers. He’s giving Rudy Giuliani stiff competition on the worst hair dye job — I’m allowed to be this catty because a couple of days ago a leaked audio recording surfaced where Rogers is heard outlining a strategy to recruit retired and off-duty police officers to act as poll watchers in predominantly Black precincts in Detroit.
He suggests the plainclothes officers “open their jackets” to flash their badges on their belts to voters.
I have loathed Susan Collins for years, and she looked like a desperate old lady trying to counter Troy Jackson during their four debates. He was right, she needs to “shut up” with all her phony and tired “concerns.”
But, but, but — I loved her rock-salt comment, which I can’t get out of my brain. I spent 30 years in PR and communications. If the term “rock salt” had crossed a candidate’s lips during rehearsal for the debate, and I had been in the room, I would have put a stop to that. Some things just can’t be said out loud.
It’s the term of the midterms, and it fittingly describes the thread that runs through all these candidates. Like rock salt, they abrasively scrape away at your nerves and common sense. They leave a harsh, caustic sting, and they have inevitably corroded and ruined the structural integrity of everything they’ve touched.
Does that sound like anyone you know?
They’re people who chose, over and over, to put loyalty to one big chunk of rock salt ahead of the voters they serve. Now that man is polling at 30 percent, and they’ve tied their futures to his shaker.
What a bunch of losers, physically, mentally, and personality-wise. Not one of them is eye candy, music to the ears, or palatable to the taste buds. They will forever be the Rock Salt Caucus, and nobody is eating what they’re selling.
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