DEAR ABBY: I went out to run errands, and when I returned home, I found a political sign in our front yard. It seems a candidate asked my husband for a pledge of support, and he agreed to place the sign in our front yard without consulting me.
Because of my job, I have always stayed neutral and never publicly endorsed any candidate for political office. When I expressed concern, my husband laughed at me and told our son, “Mom is worried what others will think.” The issue is that I do not wish to publicly endorse any candidate, and neighbors will assume the person is someone we both endorse (which is not true at all).
Is this a form of passive-aggression on my husband’s part, displaying his lack of respect for my privacy? Am I wrong to believe that he has failed to respect the fact that we are a couple? Had he discussed his desire to show support, I would have suggested he wear a button or place a bumper sticker on his personal vehicle. Instead, he placed a sign in front of our house! — FUMING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR FUMING: Your husband’s unilateral decision to allow the candidate to plant his sign on your lawn may have been made on impulse, without thinking it through. However, for him to have laughed and made light of your concern in front of your son was disrespectful.
In the state where I live, several individuals have confided that clients had made them feel — or told them directly — that if they knew they had voted for a different candidate, they would no longer employ them.
Does your husband act unilaterally or belittle you in front of your son when other disagreements arise? If so, you may need to discuss your relationship problem with a licensed marriage and family therapist.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is getting married soon. I purchased my dress for the wedding and sent a picture of it to the groom’s mother. This past weekend, she went to get hers, and it’s almost the same as mine, just a different color. She didn’t send a picture of her dress to me; she sent it to my daughter. I asked her if she had other options and thanked her for considering a different style. Her response was, “Oh, OK. Should I go purchase a different dress? I’m not sure I have enough time, and I really love the dress that I already have.” What can I do? — DRESS DRAMA
DEAR DRESS DRAMA: This does not have to be a problem. In fact, the “matching mothers” look is a trend that’s growing in popularity, symbolizing your harmonious dedication in support of your children’s union. To keep the outfits from looking too similar, choose different jewelry, accessories, hairstyles and maybe even additional layers.
Remember that on her wedding day, the focus is supposed to be on your daughter, not on you or the other mother. Please try not to take this situation as a personal slight. I doubt it was intended that way.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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