It’s hard to tell what’s parody from genuine, hard-earned stupidity nowadays. When I hear a story about a health influencer who claims to have been drinking radioactive water for the past 250 days for its supposed health benefits, I hesitate to write anything about it because there’s a chance it’s all just a bunch of nonsense. But there is an equal percent chance that this person genuinely believes radioactive water is some kind of health tonic that was shut down by the powers that be at some point in history.
As reported by Futurism, originally caught by Reality Check, Matt Roeske is a holistic health guru with over half a million Instagram followers. He recently posted a video chugging water directly out of a “Revigator,” a radioactive ceramic jug from the 1920s lined with uranium ore, lead, and arsenic. Some people drink green juice. This guy drinks radioactive water from a cartoon jug with three Xs on it.
Instead of recognizing that the government banned these biohazards decades ago because radioactive tonics were literally disintegrating people’s jaws, Roeske chalks the prohibition up to a Rothschild conspiracy. In a sterling example of how all these nutty health gurus lace their zaniness with a hint of truth, he says in the post that “healthy people don’t yield large profits.” Sure. I think even the least cynical of us all understand that healthcare systems are profiting off of our collective focus on healthiness. Doesn’t mean you should be drinking from a jug that immediately gives you Xs for eyes. You cannot say something like that and then immediately follow it with a hearty swig from a cancer water jug. Your actions are negating the credibility of your statements, sir.
Radioactive Water Is Bad for You, in Case You Didn’t Know
The thing is, we’ve known that radiation is bad since the early 1900s. As IFLScience points out, the Radium Girls were 1920s female factory workers who suffered horrific fatal radiation poisoning from painting glow-in-the-dark watch dials. Industrialist Evan Byers drank so much irradiated water in the 20s that his teeth fell out, his jaw detached from his face, and he was eventually buried in a lead-lined coffin so he wouldn’t poison anyone or anything else.
This isn’t debated science. It’s well-settled: radiation is absolutely not good for you. Yet, Roeske is undeterred by basic principles of science and horrifying historical precedent, as exemplified by this and other weird-o alternative medicine stuff he promotes, like how staring straight into the sun will fix your eyes. No matter how far medicine advances, there will always be someone on the Internet eager to swallow poison in their lifelong quest to be a rebel without a clue.
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