“Saturday Night Live” set the cold opening of its second episode of the season at the Republican National Committee’s offices in D.C., with cast members Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla poised to record ads to excite the base ahead of midterm elections that aren’t looking good for the GOP.
“Hey, if these Republican heavy hitters can’t do it, no one can,” Dismukes says.
First up was Marcello Hernández as Secretary of State Marco Rubio, recording his ad partly in Spanish, which the two producers couldn’t understand.
“Hello, and hola. The midterm elections are almost upon us, and I have a message for my fellow Spanish speakers about President Donald Trump,” he says, before switching to a more frantic tone.
“Oh, my God! He tricked us!” Hernández exclaims in Spanish, “And he tricked me, too!”
Hernández continues, “He said, ‘Do Venezuela. Easy. Two Days. Boom, Boom.’ And then he says, ‘Forget Venezuela, now Iran.’ Which is it? Venezuela, Iran, Venezuela, Iran … Canada?”
Padilla responds enthusiastically, “I don’t know what you said, but that sounded great.”
Jeremy Culhane, playing Vice President JD Vance, wheels in the next impersonator, Mikey Day as 84-year-old Sen. Mitch McConnell. Day does not respond to any of the prompts from Padilla and Dismukes, eventually just lifting two fingers in a peace sign, a reference to the lawmaker’s recent silent gesture after returning to the Senate amid lingering questions about his health.
Day then mistakenly begins to say, “Live from New York,” but is cut off by Padilla: “No, no, not yet.”
“Ugh, this isn’t going to work,” Padilla says, “I mean, don’t we have anyone who can connect with voters and isn’t a liability?”
“No, but you got me,” says Colin Jost as Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
His diatribe, mimicking the secretary’s recent partisan and profanity-laced address to troops, ends with, “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail. Which is the only ‘bi male’ I’m cool with. Hegseth out.”
Finally, Trump himself (in the form of impersonator James Austin Johnson) shows up to provide his take, reiterating his promise of $5,000 checks for everyone if the Republicans win the midterms (which he says “is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through”).
Taylor Swift makes an appearance
Actress Dakota Johnson hosted for the third time; Saturday was also the night before her 37th birthday.
In her monologue, Johnson caught everyone up on what she has been doing since she last hosted, in 2024 to promote the film “Madame Web.”
“Tonight,” she said, “I’m still promoting it because the movie hasn’t made any money yet.”
Johnson explained that she has been through two very public breakups with two musicians since then and that she has relied on her close friends to help her through them. That’s when Taylor Swift walked onstage to cheers.
Johnson described her as “literally my therapist,” but the singer-songwriter responded, “I’m not your therapist, actually. You just show up once a week at my house with an empty bottle of wine and ask if I want some.”
The show’s writers took full advantage of Johnson’s skills as a performer. Specifically, her unsettling intensity.
In a prerecorded sketch, she played “Mean, Scary Girlfriend,” using her famous ability to be … overly direct.
Swift returned as Johnson signed off for the night, offering a blue-and-white birthday cake to the host.
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