If you order a club soda with lime at a bar full of friends, someone will immediately ask what’s going on. No one interrogates the guy ordering his fourth IPA, but apparently sparkling water means you’re pregnant or something is wrong.
That’s a lot of scrutiny for something close to half the country already does. Only 54% of Americans told Gallup this summer that they drink, tying the lowest number since Gallup started asking in 1939. Still, anyone who has tried Sober October knows people can get oddly invested in what’s in your glass. One man told a therapist writing for Psychology Today that his friends “still encouraged me to drink or ordered a drink for me despite my insistence not to.” Eventually, he gave in.
There are so many upsides to taking a month off. A Brown University review of Dry January research found improvements in sleep and mood, even among people who didn’t make it through the month perfectly sober. Social life was a little harder for some people. Once drinking wasn’t on the table, they saw their friends less.
Here’s how to get through the month without turning into a hermit.
1. Keep the Explanation Short
“I’m not drinking this month” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe the table a five-minute explanation of your liver, your sleep, or whatever personal revelation brought you here. One sober commenter wrote in a Sober app community post: “In my 30s I learned I do not owe anyone a verbal think piece on my personal decisions.”
2. Skip the Fake Excuses
You might be tempted to have an excuse ready, like you’re on antibiotics or you have a long drive home. Millie Gooch, founder of Sober Girl Society, told NPR that excuses invite negotiation. Tell someone you’re driving, and now they want to call you an Uber so you can hang and drink. Now something that could have been a simple “no thanks, just not feeling it tonight” has become a whole conversation.
3. Pick the Place
If most of your plans happen at bars, change the scenery for a night. Sober October is so much easier when you’re not spending three hours watching everyone else order rounds. And if you’re going to a house party, bring something you actually want to drink. Gallup found 17% of Americans have already swapped a regular drink for a nonalcoholic one.
4. Notice Who Pushes
If someone keeps pushing a drink at you after you’ve said no, there’s a decent chance they like drinking with you more than they like being with you. They’re your drinking buddy. Gooch suggests asking yourself, “Do you really want to be friends with people who don’t like your company when you’re not drinking?”
If you want to do Sober October, do it. Your friends should support your choices, especially when there are literally no cons other than missing out on “memories” you think you’re making at the karaoke bar.
The post Doing Sober October? Here’s How to Handle the Peer Pressure. appeared first on VICE.
