You’ve heard of an energy vampire, but what about a plan vampire? This type of friend is bound to confine your best-laid plans to the group chat.
What Is a ‘Plan Vampire’?
According to Emmie Hope-Newitt of SeatPlan, “A plan vampire is basically someone who loves the idea of making plans but somehow drains all the energy out of actually making them happen.”
We all know one: the person in the group chat who never follows through on plans or constantly finds issues with timing/dates.
“They’ll be the first person saying, ‘We need to do something soon,’ but when it comes to choosing a date, somewhere to go, or something to book, they find it surprisingly difficult to pin down,” says Hope-Newitt. “It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad or flaky friend either. A lot of the time, they actually do want to see everyone, but they’re just not very good at getting from ‘We should do this’ to ‘It’s booked for Saturday.’”
Signs Of a Plan Vampire
In a group chat or conversation, a plan vampire will show red flags in how they communicate.
“Saying ‘I’m easy’ and then turning down every suggestion is one of the biggest ones,” says Hope-Newitt. “You also get the friend who says, ‘Let me check’ and doesn’t reply for two days, or randomly suggests something completely different just as everyone has finally made a decision.”
(Unfortunately, I’m learning I might be the plan vampire…given my lack of availability and horrible texting habits.)
“Another big [sign] is going silent and ghosting everyone as soon as they say, ‘Shall I book it?’ That’s usually the point where a fun hypothetical night out becomes an actual commitment of time and money,” says Hope-Newitt. “If one person keeps having to chase you for an answer, putting all the options in the group chat and making all the decisions, there’s a good chance you’re making planning harder than you think.”
How to Stop Being a Plan Vampire
You know what they say: the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem in the first place. If you notice these behaviors in yourself, you can begin to heal your “plan vampire” tendencies.
“You don’t have to suddenly become the organizer of the group,” Hope-Newitt points out. “The easiest thing is just to contribute something useful. If somebody asks when you’re free, give them a date. If they send two options, just pick one. If $50 is out of your budget, say your budget is $30 rather than just not saying anything.”
Of course, the plan vampire might not be the only one complicating plan execution. If everyone in the group is advocating for their own preferences and specifics, odds are, no one will come to a complete agreement.
“I also think people need to get more comfortable with the idea of plans not being perfect,” Hope-Newitt adds. “You don’t need every single person to be free, everyone’s first-choice restaurant, and the perfect activity before you can book something in.”
“And if you’re the one saying, ‘we really need to do something soon,’ follow it up with an actual idea,” she continues. “Even something as simple as ‘I’m free next Friday, does anyone fancy dinner or a show?’ makes it much easier for everyone else to get the ball rolling.”
As fitting as it might be, don’t act like a plan vampire this spooky season. It’s time to get those plans out of the group chat.
The post The Annoying Friend Habit That Keeps Every Group Chat Plan From Actually Happening appeared first on VICE.
