The Curse of Living (Forever)—This Week on VICE: Members Only

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You don’t get timeless folk figures anymore, not really. For better or worse pop culture has largely stopped producing the Pauly D’s and Katie Price’s of the world. The last time I remember a curious individual being catapulted into the mass cultural consciousness and actually sticking around was Joe Exotic, and that’s only because the global population was caged at home by the pandemic when Tiger King dropped. The world that once produced such sensational personalities no longer exists. Now, we mostly have lolcows and so-called main characters who amuse us from two seconds to a year, and are then swiftly forgotten. When was the last time you thought about Mason Ramsey? The Hawk Tuah girl? Exactly.

If you’re unfamiliar with Mickey Avalon, let us bring you up to speed. Avalon has been many things: rapper, hustler, shit kicker, teen drug dealer, sober, vintage drum-machine pupil to Adrien Brody. Most surprising of all though, least of all to himself, is that Mickey Avalon is alive to tell his own story. VICE writer Sam Davies was able to get hold of him for a long, sprawling conversation about his life, his many near-deaths, and how a 2006 smash hit called “My Dick” barely scratches the surface of bizarre events he is responsible for.

Sam writes:

“Mickey’s story is a challenging one to tell. Two people have tried to write his biography. Both are now dead. His biggest hit [‘My Dick’] lives on, but the two friends he made it with—Dirty Nasty and Andre Legacy—have had contrasting fortunes ever since. Legacy, the man whose folkloric wanger inspired the song, has faded into obscurity, while Dirty Nasty aka Simon Rex, the man who made the beat, is now a Hollywood actor, starring in Sean Baker’s 2021 comedy Red Rocket and Zoe Kravitz’s Blink Twice. Arguably the person who’s profited most from Avalon’s output is Awkwafina, whose 2012 viral hit ‘My Vag’ was inspired by ‘My Dick’ and helped launch the young actress’s career. But somewhere deep within Mickey’s winding 20-year story lies an intangible truth about the American Dream in the 21st century… Somewhere.”

Speaking to Sam from LA, Mickey says:

“I always said I’m gonna die by 25 […] I didn’t take good care of myself. But I don’t think I’m gonna die anytime soon. I think when you try to die and you don’t, then your curse is like, you live forever.”

Read VICE’s full profile of Mickey Avalon below:

Mickey Avalon—Who’s Lived the Wildest Life You’ll Ever Hear of—Is Somehow Still Alive

In other news related to international travel and cultural difference, the artist and writer Emma Stern is currently in France, which, like most of Europe (and, indeed, the world), has been hit with a heatwave so severe it has rendered much of the countryside “on fire” and the general population insane. Contemplating the difference in attitude towards air conditioning takes the American artist on a whirlwind odyssey through Diet Coke and colonic irrigation.

Emma writes:

“I believe this heatwave may have radicalized me. Day two of La Canicule, the midday temperature has hit 104 degrees Fahrenheit. At least 18 heat-related deaths have already been recorded, including two young children who were left in a car with the windows rolled up. Dior and Rick Owens have rescheduled their runway shows and I’ve developed a strange rash around my collarbone and clavicle where beads of sweat pool and collect. All of my plants are dead… Inside my second-floor one-bedroom, opening the window is like opening an oven. Somehow, the only thing worse than moving around is standing still. There is no relief. All I can do is take a cold shower every 20 minutes and air dry, and then do it again… I wonder what I did to deserve this, what anyone did to deserve this.”

Read the essay in full below: