Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Final Rosie’
Rosie O’Donnell signed off from guest-hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Thursday by thanking “everyone who’s been watching this week, especially the hungry, hungry hypocrite in the White House.”
“It’s kind of weird to think he spent more nights with me this week than Melania.” — ROSIE O’DONNELL
“You know, a lot of people have asked me if I decided to guest-host here as some kind of audition to get another talk show, and the truth is, the real reason I returned to ABC was to become the next ‘Golden Bachelorette: Gay Edition.’ And they should do it, right? I mean, don’t you all want to see who gets the final Rosie? God knows I do.” — ROSIE O’DONNELL
“Most of all, I’d like to thank Jimmy Kimmel for inviting me to do this and for reminding everyone that we have the right to free speech in this country, whether Orange Voldemort likes it or not.” — ROSIE O’DONNELL
O’Donnell also performed a new version of a traditional Irish ditty to close out her final monologue dedicated to a “very special boy.”
“[to the tune of ‘Danny Boy’] Poor Donny boy your polls, your polls are falling. Your reflecting pool is green as Mountain Dew. Your wig’s a mess, your ballroom is appalling, and with Iran you’ve bit off more than you can chew. Measles are back, inflation is a-swelling; you post all night, you’re sleeping while you work. And what’s with all this useless crap you’re selling? Hey, sweetie pie, you’re driving us all berserk. But there’s a way to end this drama. It’s time to use that stable-genius brain. Since we all know you’ll never be Obama, why not resign, and make this country great again?” — ROSIE O’DONNELL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Washington Edition)
“Well, guys, this weekend on the streets of Washington, D.C., President Trump is hosting an IndyCar race called the Freedom 250 Grand Prix. Yep, Trump is excited for the race. Usually when he sees someone driving 200 miles an hour, it’s Melania leaving the White House.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, the race is called the Freedom 250. However, Trump’s doctor is calling it the Freedom 168 and healthier than ever.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, first it was U.F.C. on the White House lawn, now IndyCar on the mall. Next up, cornhole at the Jefferson Memorial.” — JIMMY FALLON
“But this is cool: To honor the president, one racing team will be using the same pit crew that Trump uses to get ready every morning.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Michelle Pfeiffer addressed rumors that she’s planning to retire from acting on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
After years apart, Alabama Shakes reunited for a one-off gig, which led to a tour and a new LP, “I Must Be Dreaming.”
The post Rosie O’Donnell Ends Late Night Stint With a Ditty to ‘Donny Boy’ appeared first on New York Times.
