A few years ago, my brother-in-law, his wife, and their kids relocated to Sarasota, Florida. Not long after, my husband’s aunt and mother followed.
So every summer since, my husband, our two daughters, and I visit for a week to catch up and hang out. On our first trip, though, something unexpected happened.
In the hustle and bustle of our arrival, our daughters’ luggage ended up at my brother-in-law’s, and my suitcase and my husband’s bag were brought to his mother’s.
After we settled in and freshened up, we all met for dinner at a local restaurant. We had dessert and hung out for a bit back at my brother-in-law’s, but when the sun set, our kids stayed with their aunt and uncle while my husband and I joined his mother at her house.
My mother-in-law changed into her house dress, and I put on my pajamas, then the three of us watched TV in her quiet living room and climbed into bed early. Nearby, our kids stayed up late with their cousins, eating junk food, laughing, and playing.
We all went to sleep happy — so much so that we kept the arrangement going for the rest of that trip and have repeated it almost every visit since.
Our kids really enjoy getting to spend more time with their aunt, uncle, and cousins
Our kids love us, but let’s face it: I’m sure they enjoy the break from us and our parenting. It’s probably a breath of fresh air to have some time with their fun aunt and uncle.
Their aunt will stay up teaching them how to paint their own nails, and their uncle lets them design earrings and help make them on his laser cutter.
And of course, they love the extra time with their cousins. They’ve spent hours swimming, riding their golf cart, and playing flag football on the front lawn. Now that they’re all a little older, they share stories of school, sports, and friends.
In a year’s time, my twin nieces will leave for college. My daughter will do the same two years later. It won’t be that long before they’ve all grown up and started lives of their own.
I’m glad they had this extra time together during our vacations — a chance to build strong bonds, even though we live so far apart.
Now, when they all move on, those connections will help keep them tied together.
This arrangement helped my husband and me find something we’d been missing, too
With the exception of one-night stays for out-of-town weddings or something similar, my husband and I haven’t gone on vacation alone since we had children.
Both of our kids are in highly competitive sports. With games and practices on most Saturdays and Sundays, plus overnight tournaments and competitions, we haven’t had time to get away.
On top of that, much of our travel budget goes to flights and hotels for these sports trips. There isn’t much left over for a second honeymoon.
That’s why these miniature, no-kid vacations are so nice for us.
It’s not especially romantic: We’re not going on dates, but we do get some adult-only time each night. We enjoy these simple evenings with my mother-in-law, watching game shows, playing cards, and relaxing.
Our kids are a little older now, but when they were younger and more dependent, it was also nice to take a break from the incessant teeth-brushing reminders and stalling tactics at bedtime.
I’m lucky to have a wonderful brother-in-law and sister-in-law who are always happy to have my kids at their home, and a mother-in-law whose presence I enjoy — even on my pretend date nights with my husband.
For as long as we can, our family will keep this arrangement going and continue to enjoy our days together while appreciating our nights apart.
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