We all know that vacations can bring out the best of us. For one thing, we’re typically in our most relaxed states, flowing through the days rather than following a strict, productive routine. It’s easy to stay positive and carefree while away from mundane daily life.
However, traveling can also pack unique stressors you wouldn’t otherwise anticipate. This is why couples’ vacations can help partners reconnect while learning more about one another—things you wouldn’t otherwise learn at home. For example, how do you navigate conflicts together? How might you compromise on travel plans? What are your favorite ways to unwind?
Dr. Robert Davies, a board-certified psychiatrist with more than 30 years of clinical experience treating mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and other mental health conditions, outlines four lessons couples learn about each other while on vacation.
1. How Each Person Handles Stress
While vacations are known to provide relaxation and ease, stress is bound to arise at some point—especially during travel. For example, maybe your flight gets delayed, you get stuck in traffic, you run into issues with your hotels, etc. How you navigate these issues both individually and as a couple will help you better understand how you operate under stress.
“Travel naturally causes stress, as with flight delays and unexpected itinerary changes,” Davies told VICE. “These events can also illustrate your partners’ reactions to frustration—are they cool under pressure; do they try to control the situation; do they pull back; or do you work together?”
Unfortunately, my boyfriend knows that whenever we fly together, I become a much more anxious, overstimulated, and impatient version of myself. It’s not always pretty, but he loves me regardless. Find someone who can bring you peace in your most stressed states—and vice versa.
2. How Well They Communicate and Compromise
Love isn’t about finding the perfect person who never gets frustrated or overwhelmed. Rather, it’s about finding the person you can healthily communicate and compromise with. Vacationing together can help reveal whether your partner is that person for you.
“Vacation is composed of many little decision-making processes (where do we go for breakfast? What should we be doing today? How much money/time are we going to use?) that healthy couples make collectively and unilaterally,” says Davies. “Problems in communication may surface after the routine has been lost.”
3. How Independence Looks For Each Partner
When you’re spending quality one-on-one time with your partner while in close quarters for a period of time, you tend to learn a lot about their level of independence and their individual quirks.
“Traveling can expose couples’ differing social and individual needs,” says Davies. “While one partner enjoys being constantly busy and active during travel, the other partner may prefer quieter times. Notifying that you have both learned to accept each other’s preferences, to show maturity as partners, is significant.”
4. What Values They Share
When living in your day-to-day life, it’s easy to bond with your partner over shared interests. However, vacations often allow us to see our partners in a more vulnerable light.
“Travel has shown that there are many different things which matter to every individual,” says Davies. “There may be one who prioritizes experience when traveling, while another will have an emphasis on comfort, budget, or thorough preparation. While these differences are not necessarily obstacles for travel partners, they help both of you understand each other’s preferences and how best to plan travel for your mutual benefit.”
The post 4 Things Couples Learn About Each Other on Vacation, According to a Psychiatrist appeared first on VICE.
