You’ve heard of catfishing, the awful dating trend that involves intentionally misleading a person by using fake photos or information to lure them in.
But what about the slightly less terrifying, yet somewhat concerning trend called petfishing?
Apparently, people are using other people’s pets to secure matches and connections in the dating scene. According to dating coaches and matchmakers alike, this behavior can be much less innocent than it seems.
What Is Petfishing?
Petfishing involves using someone else’s pet to secure more dating app matches or romantic connections. For example, maybe you use a photo with your friend’s golden retriever to make yourself appear friendly and loving, or perhaps you tell a group of women at the bar that you’re a “cat daddy” when you actually don’t own one to begin with. At the core of this deception is the desire to connect—but how well can you “connect” based on lies?
“People love animals!” says Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. “If you are a dog or cat person and see they have one, you may think ‘oh what a cute puppy’ and swipe right—but you have to remember it is not about the pet, but the person.”
Petfishing can fuel the illusion of compatibility and closeness. Someone might appear like an adventurous dog person, when really, they don’t even own a pup and quickly get annoyed in the presence of a slobbery pup. Or maybe they claim to be a caring cat owner when, in reality, they take a kitten’s aloofness personally.
If you’re connecting with someone based on these facades, you’re not forming an authentic bond. Rather, you’re connecting with a misleading idea of them.
Is Petfishing an Innocent Act or a Red Flag?
While petfishing can be innocent, if not overdone or carried out with malicious intent, it can certainly be a red flag, too.
“‘Petfishing’ can only be seen as innocent in one very specific situation: when someone genuinely loves dogs, cats, or other animals but doesn’t have one at the moment,” says Mila Smith, Certified Relationship & Dating Coach at From Single to Couple. “In which case, borrowing a friend’s pet to illustrate a true part of their personality is not misleading anyone.”
“However, in other cases, ‘petfishing’ crosses the line into deception,” Smith continues. “Using an animal to appear more caring and approachable is outright misrepresentation. You wouldn’t borrow someone else’s baby to show off potential parental skills, so why do it with a pet?”
Unfortunately, some people actually would use someone else’s baby to get more matches—I’ve seen this firsthand on the dating apps. But I digress.
“It might seem like something trivial, but it isn’t,” Smith says. “I’ve witnessed relationships end because partners weren’t aligned on pets. People are rarely on the fence about Mittens or Milo. For many, pets represent part of the family, which falls into the category of key life values and is very important in long-term relationships.”
In other words, lying about having pets or loving animals can be incredibly misleading. Let people fall for the real you. Otherwise, you’ll waste time forcing connections with incompatible partners.
The post Introducing ‘Petfishing,’ the Dating Trend Turning Dogs and Cats Into Bait appeared first on VICE.
