Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Happiest Boy in the Hospital’
Senator Mitch McConnell shared a photograph from a rehabilitation center on Sunday as proof that he is alive and well, after weeks of silence and speculation.
On Mondays’ “Daily Show,” Jon Stewart called the image of the senator seated next to his wife “totally believable evidence that Mitch McConnell is not only alive, but the happiest boy in the hospital.”
“That’s the smile of a Make-a-Wish kid whose wish was that everyone else in the hospital lost their health insurance due to his [expletive] policies.” — JON STEWART
“First of all, thank God he’s still hot as hell.” — IKE BARINHOLTZ, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“Yeah, nothing says perfect health like having someone hold you up when you’re already sitting. Looks like a husband-and-wife ventriloquist act.” — JIMMY FALLON
“In all seriousness, though, I do want to extend well wishes to Senator McConnell. I hope you get the quality health care you’ve fought so hard to deny everyone else.” — IKE BARINHOLTZ
The Punchiest Punchlines (Stages of Grief Edition)
“Now, a lot of you may be wondering, as I was, how the [expletive] did Lindsey Graham die before Mitch McConnell?” — JON STEWART
“What a crazy weekend. Mitch McConnell is alive, Lindsey Graham is dead. There’s so many opportunities to get Jimmy’s show pulled off the air again.” — IKE BARINHOLTZ
“In a phone interview this morning with Fox and Friends, President Trump said that the late Senator Lindsey Graham would call him all the time, and added, ‘I’d say, “Stop calling me, Lindsey.’” What a touching tribute. Very rare for the person giving the eulogy to say, ‘I wish I’d talked to him less.’” — SETH MEYERS
“[Imitating Trump] I’ll never forget the way that I always let him go to voice mail. It was our thing.’” — JON STEWART
“Well, I think the president has zoomed through the first five stages of grief and gone straight to number six: [expletive] that guy.” — JON STEWART
“We all grieve in different ways. You know, there are stages to grief — it’s denial, anger, spacing out, pissing yourself, forgetting what you were talking about, then changing the subject completely. It’s a process.” — IKE BARINHOLTZ
The Bits Worth Watching
The English singer-songwriter Sienna Spiro performed “Great Expectation” from her debut album, “Visitor,” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Molly Shannon, who stars in “The Hawk,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
Jay-Z’s three-night stand at Yankee Stadium showed off his still-dazzling skills and made a convincing argument for his singular legacy.
The post Jon Stewart Mocks Mitch McConnell’s Recovery Photo appeared first on New York Times.
